10 habits that will strengthen the relationship with your children
Having children is a unique experience that makes women discover new feelings, new responsibilities and, of course, new joys.
From gestation, through the magic of the moment of birth and following new discoveries, such as the first smile, the first baby and the first step, the experience of motherhood is unique and intense.
There is no doubt that the relationship between the mother and her children is strong, exciting and eternal, which will only prove to be more and more true over time. And throw the first diaper to the woman who was not thrilled to hear her baby say “mama” for the first time …
Although all this poetry exists in being a mother, and the experience of having children is something really exciting and beautiful, we are not always able to connect with our little ones (or not so small), especially when they grow and begin to Interacting with the world more independently.
Undoubtedly, pre-adolescence and adolescence in themselves are challenging periods in the life of a woman who is a mother, and the changes in the behavior of children, who want to own themselves, sometimes bring fears and worries. Fortunately, there is a way to strengthen the relationship between you, and you may know some valuable tips to follow:
1. Target 12 daily hugs
For the Virginia Satir family therapist, four daily hugs are needed for our survival; Eight for maintenance and 12 for our growth. The idea here is to create the same physical contact: hug your child every day when he wakes up and whenever he is going to bed.
Physical contact, through the embrace, the caffeine, the eye in the eye and the smile is something that creates a strong bond of affection, especially between the mother and her children. Teens may not like hugging so you need to find other ways to connect, such as a more intense conversation, showing interest in their lives, while you snack together.
Demonstrating real interest in your child’s life, and embracing him whenever possible, is an attitude that brings positive results.
2. Play Together
When you play with your young child and make mess with it, the child’s body will release endorphins and oxytocin, which gives the feeling of well-being and helps to create close bonds between the two of you.
Create daily situations that involve laughter and fun, so if your child will grow up with less anxiety and feeling connected to you. Bet on jokes that help you create values ??about cooperation and leadership.
3. Leave the technology aside.
When you are with your child, do not check your social networks often nor make them feel stressed by the excess of photos you take of them. Believe: for children, their love is worth more in practice than in Instagram photos. When there is no technological interference, the connection becomes easier and more real.
4. Understand Transition Moments
Children can not always cope well with the transition from one phase to another, and it will be that way for a long time, so they end up having more aggressive and rebellious behavior at times. The way to do it is to show that you are there, to always use your child’s name, to look into your eyes and to try to make him smile and realize that you can count on his understanding and support.
5. Spend exclusive time for each of your children
If you have more than one child at home, it is nice that you dedicate an exclusive time to each one of them. We are talking about something like 15 minutes a day here, and in that time you should show interest and attention to the child or to the teenager with whom you are interacting.
A good tip is that everyone has their day to choose the activity. In your day, try to perform tasks that involve contact and preferably make your child have fun and laugh a lot.
6. Let your child cry
Sometimes your child’s cry comes when you least expect it, but children cry and it’s always going to be like this. Letting your child cry is a good way to show him that he has the opportunity to show his feelings and, moreover, you can take the opportunity to help him deal with his problems.
Do not tell your child that his crying makes you sad or angry – instead, show compassion and interest in helping. When the child feels that his frustration or anger is understood, he begins to learn to deal with those feelings more easily and, once that happens, he will be more relaxed and cooperative.
It is hard not to show lack of patience or irritability in front of your child, but if you learn a way to do it will have the best results.
7. Learn to listen and demonstrate empathy
Show interest in what your child is talking about, and always encourage him to tell you what points make him happy, what distresses him, what makes him afraid, and so on. This will make you see situations from your child’s perspective, and from there, create empathy.
8. Take it easy and live the moment.
The frenetic pace of adult life and full of commitments does not fit the life of a child, so it’s cool that you get used to understanding that and putting that idea into practice.
Take it easy. Before giving a fruit to your child, for example, show him what the bark and the smell of the food is like, play some joke and help him understand that this type of fruit is good for your health.
The same goes for bath time: smell your child’s hair, show that he likes to be with him, listen to his laughter, understand that he wants to play while in the bathtub and play with him too. Being with your child in the present moment is a joy – do not doubt it.
9. Give time at bedtime
It is best to take the child to bed a little earlier than the time she should sleep. In that time, stay by her side, tell her some stories, show her that you love her and talk about cool things, like something different that happened at school.
Let the child tell you something as well, and when she is doing it, listen to everything calmly and carefully. The cool thing is not to abandon this ritual of sleep when your child starts to grow.
10. Be present
That story of time passing too fast is the purest truth, so enjoy every moment next to your child, because when you least imagine he will already be thinking about going to college in another city.
The tip here is simple: when you are with your child, really be with him, avoid thinking about problems at work or clothes that need to be washed without fail.
Interact, live, feel the emotions of your child, embrace him whenever possible and be sure to ask what he thinks about family life. If all families were like this, we would have children and adults much happier.
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