There are many factors that contribute to a Good marriage/relationship such as; Love, Commitment, Trust, Time, Attention, Good Communication including Listening, Partnership, Tolerance, Patience, Openness, Honesty, Respect, Sharing, Consideration, Generosity, Willingness/Ability to Compromise, Constructive management of Disagreements/Arguments, Willingness to see another’s viewpoint, Ability and Willingness to Forgive/Apologise, Fun. The list is simple and obvious yet it can be very difficult for individuals /couples to restore their marriage/relationship to a satisfying one when difficulties arise or when they drift apart. Here are ten things you must know about a Good Marriage.
- Know Yourself
Know your inner workings. How was your childhood? If it was not pleasing, what things do you need to observe in a potential partner? If your childhood was abusive, find someone who does not exhibit those characteristics. You owe it to yourself to do some reading about abuse and move forward. Create a better story for yourself and future generations.
- Get to Know Your Soul Mate
How does your soul mate handle a crisis? In this case for you to have a successful marriage, you need to know your partner very well, attitude, characters, behaviour, and any other things that generate him/her in order for better understanding to come in so that they won’t be any crises due to lack of understanding.
Also, how your mate interacts with their family can tell you a lot about them. Do they respect one another? Do you like how they interact with each other? This gives you a window as to how your potential spouse will treat you.
- Happiness is not the most important thing
Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness will come and go. Successful couples learn to intentionally do things that will bring happiness back when life pulls it away.
- Couples discover the value in just showing up
When things get tough and couples don’t know what to do, they need to hang in there and be there for their spouse. Time has a way of helping couples work things out by providing opportunities to reduce stress and overcome challenges.
- The Wedding Day Is A Day, Not The Rest Of Your Life!
I observe people spending so much money on their wedding. I am not telling you that you need to just not do anything, but use common sense. If the day falls apart, that is not the most horrible thing to happen. A worst-case scenario is that your marriage fails.
- Never Go To Bed Angry
We have all heard this one before. It is true. You need to work things out so that you can begin a fresh new day. If you leave things as they are, they tend to continue. If it is something that you just cannot get past, seek help from a counsellor. When you are in these intense moments, and you will be, ask yourself if it is a life or death situation. Chances are good that most things can be worked out.
- Respect comes from a deep understanding of our significant other, of their thoughts, reactions, opinions, values, and attitudes. Respect for who our partner is may cause us to look forward to their homecoming each night, make it unlikely we feel bored in their company. Our understanding of who our partner is as a person, and our respect for the qualities that make up our partner, often leads to the growth of admiration. This, in turn, may contribute to the feelings of pleasure we experience in our partner’s company.
Respect also might grow when the marriage, or either individual in it, faces a challenge. When a marriage is troubled, when one or both partners have lost their respect for the other due to mistakes, choices they’ve made, or other issues, watching a partner withstand trials, make different choices, and repair their share of the damage can lead to the growth of new respect. This newfound respect may in fact become the soil in which the seeds of love are replanted, even when it seems marriage is over.
- The grass is greener where you water: Successful couples have learned to resist the grass is greener myth — i.e., someone else will make me happy. They have learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage better.
- Parenting Styles
Before you have children, have lengthy discussions about what this looks like. Does your partner support breastfeeding? Will your partner help with late-night feedings? Get an idea of how things may work with a newborn. Then, how do you handle each stage of childhood?
Be on the same page with discipline, not only for the sake of you the adults but also for your children.
- Keep It Simple!
Marriage truly is one of the most amazing things. You will know when you find that special someone that you wish to be with for the rest of your life. Find happiness in whatever lifestyle you are living. Live in the moment with purpose and with kindness. Enjoy the journey you have. Finally, do not settle for seconds. If there is even a minor element that you know you will have a hard time with, work it out before saying your vows or move on.
“The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they’re right if you love to be with them all the time.” – Julia Child.
Read Also: UNDERSTANDING ROLES IN MARRIAGE
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