By Sunday Adelaja
In one of my ‘Ask Pastor Sunday’ sessions, I was asked about the question of masturbation. My initial understanding was that I must give people some relief from the feelings of guilt after the practice of masturbation. So I tried to comfort young people who don’t wish to practice actively the act of masturbation, but yet find themselves having wet dreams.
A wet dream is an erotic dream that causes involuntary ejaculation of semen. This act that happens to almost all men, tells us about the nature of men. It is a proof that the act of releasing semen is natural. It also explains why men are more sexually driven than the women.
When you understand wet dreams it is also easy to understand why masturbation is so popular with men. The way the man is wired is that his semen gathers with time in his sperm bag either he likes it or not they need to be released or used up one way or the other. That is why not all release of semen should be considered as sinful, especially in the case of wet dreams. In my question and answer sessions, I was trying to comfort young men that find themselves in a similar situation not to live in the resultant process of blame or self-condemnation that follows the involuntary ejaculation of semen.
Nevertheless, why do most Christians see masturbation as a sinful act? This was yet another question that followed the previous one in another of my question and answer sessions. I was directly challenged to answer if masturbation is a sin or not. My explanation was that when most people masturbate they have to imagine an image or a partner in their mind, which equals to what Jesus called adultery in the book of Matthew.
“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matt 5:27-28
When a man lusts in his heart after a woman, he has already committed adultery with her even though he has not physically slept with her. That mental adultery goes along side with masturbation.
The reason why I have decided to write this more elaborate article about why masturbation is wrong is that some people who are not Christians and don’t believe the authority of the Bible asked the question that apart from the Bible saying masturbation is a sin, is there any other thing that proves that the act itself is wrong?
My aim, therefore, today is to give reasons why I believe that masturbation is still wrong even if we are not considering what Jesus said about adultery in the heart. I want to point out to all my readers that there are enough reasons to believe that masturbation is wrong even without considering the fact that it is sinful.
20 REASONS WHY MASTURBATION IS WRONG.
1. Loss of interest in marriage:
Most men that actively practice the act of masturbation will in time lose the taste for the institution of marriage.
2. Loss of life focus:
The men that actively masturbate tend to think about it most of the time. It is as bad as according to some psychologist, there are men who think about masturbating every 5 minutes making them lose focus on the most important things in life. A man’s thoughts are supposed to be predominantly about his life’s goals, missions and purposes.
3. Feelings of inferiority complex:
In most cases when men practice masturbation on regular basis, they develop feelings of inferiority complex. They tend to think that they are not normal and in some cases, they think they are the only ones suffering from this addiction. They think others are normal while they are not.
4. Late marriages:
They are normally late marriages among people who are addicted to practising masturbation for a long time. They find it difficult to morally get themselves equipped and ready not seeing much need for it. In some cases, they are afraid of the responsibilities that come with marriage.
5. Unhealthy sexual fantasies:
Most people who are involved in masturbation cannot really do without fantasizing. This process of fantasizing could be as gory and pervasive in the mind as it could get. This becomes a problem in marriage when a married man is sleeping with his wife yet in his fantasies he is actually not seeing his wife but other women.
6. The flesh is insatiable:
People involved in masturbation sooner or later discover that the hunger for sexual satisfaction is insatiable. Hence the process of seeking for pleasure always lands such an individual in the most sordid practices of sexual pervasion including soliciting the services of prostitutes and escorts.
7. It brings sexual pervasion into marriage:
For a married man who , to masturbating before marriage, the degradation could continue to the extent of him not being able to be sexually aroused by his spouse. In which case most men have to result to watching pornographic films and pictures while they make love to their wives otherwise they will not be able to get themselves aroused.
8. Masturbation could lead to swinging in marriage:
The height of sexual pervasion that results from masturbation is what is called swinger parties when men who are no more aroused by their partners go to the extent of engaging in sex with other married couples. Even going to the extent of arranging orgy parties for it.
9. Masturbation could lead to sexual fetishism:
A lot of young men go about stealing ladies underwear or getting close to women private belongings so as to use them as an act of sexual gratification. a is as a result of a long practice of self-gratification through masturbation that now looks for a more outward expression. , normally happens to men that lack the guts and boldness to approach a lady. It is a form of addiction.
10. Pornographic addiction:
Most people who practice masturbation end up becoming addicted to pornography because it provides secrecy and it allows for a faster process of fantasy and ejaculation. The problem is that it becomes addictive sooner or later.
11. Masturbation leads to horrible sexual pervasion:
People who start out with masturbation have been found to be caught in rape, sex with animals, sadism, sadomasochism and other unthinkable acts. a is because the flesh can never be satisfied. The fantasy and pursuit of sexual satisfaction are endless.
12. Masturbation leads to prostate related diseases:
Most people who are actively involved in masturbation get complications in their later years, because of different complications they have with their health after the age of 40. It might not necessarily lead to prostate cancer for everybody, but it gives enough health concerns to be worried about.
13. Selfishness and egocentrism in marriage:
A person that is used to satisfying himself sexually through masturbation continues to do that even after he is married. The wife will be constantly dissatisfied because the husband is not used to satisfying others but himself.
14. Premature ejaculation:
One of the main problems in marriage for people who have been involved in masturbation is premature ejaculation. Why that is a problem is that when a man suffers from premature ejaculation, the woman in most cases remains unsatisfied which could lead to complications in the marriage relationship.
15. Erectile dysfunction:
When someone engages in masturbation long enough, it gets to a point when you don’t really need an erection to ejaculate and once a man ejaculates he is satisfied but in marriage, this becomes a problem because an erection is necessary to satisfy a partner sexually. It is also necessary for reproduction.
16. Feelings of Guilt and self-condemnation:
One of the most horrible consequences of masturbation is that most people who engage in it experience feelings of guilt and self-condemnation on a regular basis, which is also an indication to us that it is not natural to live a life of masturbation.
17. Depression and gloominess:
Masturbation often results in feelings of depression and gloominess. Most people who are involved in masturbation become moody and closed because they are afraid of sharing their experience with people because of the fear of condemnation and being misunderstood.
18. Inability to build a healthy relationship with the opposite sex:
Most people who are involved in masturbation are so used to living within themselves, they reach agreements with themselves that they often don’t know how to build the complicated relationship with the opposite sex. In a relationship you need to constantly find out what the other person’s interest is. This could lead to men preferring not to marry or even to divorce after marriage.
19. Social and societal awkwardness:
Most such men feel awkward and unaccepted in the society and among their peers. They feel out of place if they don’t have a girlfriend or if they don’t marry at a certain age or they are uninterested in woman. On the other hand, they might feel they are under pressure from the society to get a wife even though they don’t have the interest. They might be pushed into marrying to make children even though they don’t have the love for their partner. They have all sorts of awkwardness due to masturbation.
20. Lack of strong will:
The problem of masturbation is an affirmation of the fact that a man has stopped fighting. It is an acceptance of defeat. In most cases when you accept defeat in a particular area of your life, it could go a long way to affecting you in other areas. It now becomes easier to give up rather than to fight.
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to state here that by this article I am by no means trying to condemn anyone. On the opposite, my intention is to give a helping hand to all men and women that are faced with this challenge. The reason I can authoritatively write about this subject is due to the fact that I was a victim of sexual addiction especially masturbation. I can testify to the fact that God can give victory to anyone that so desires.
I have written a book that is available on Amazon that is called Living Sexually Free for those that are interested, you can get yourself a copy. I also want to let you know that if you are reading this article, you should be on the lookout for another article which is going to be about concrete steps to overcome masturbation.
Meanwhile, I will wish to encourage every man or family that is struggling with this habit to start by stopping to condemn yourself and each other. Make sure you shift your attention from the dominance of masturbation into more relevant topics of life like goals, purposes, missions, etc.
I also want to say that even when you are already free from masturbation, you should not assume that there would not be times when you will experience a low point. The most important thing to fight against becoming addicted. That is you don’t practice it on a permanent or constant basis. If it is only a matter of occasional failure, simply get up, dust yourself off and keep moving. Move on towards your goals, targets and destination in life. When you keep on fighting that way soon you will find out that you are experiencing more and more victory until you eventually discover that it is no more a question of worry or concern in your life.
Spend less time deliberating within yourself or fighting in your mind. Focus on your love for God and on building a closer relationship with your creator. It is my belief that love is stronger than any sin. If your love for God is stronger than for any habit, you are in a safe place.
Source: Sunday Adelaja’s