3 Ways to Avoid Unhappiness in Marriage
Unhappy people in marriage sometimes look at other happy couples and wonder if they have any secret that allows them to keep love alive in their relationship.
It may seem that these couples are only naturally blessed with compatibility, while you are not. However, couples who find joy and satisfaction in their relationship are no different from other couples; They have simply learned to put the other first and work hard, to make their relationship work. Let us consider the three things you need to avoid in the family.
1. Do not focus on the negative
Happier couples tend to focus on what they like about each other rather than what they do not like. Whenever your spouse does something that bothers you, instead of getting angry, stop and list some of the things he does that make him happy. For example, you may dislike the way she leaves makeup on the bathroom counter top, but try to remember the loving way she greets you whenever you get home.
2. Do not be overly angry
Learn to relieve. Some spouses make a mental record of each offense and keep them all in their mind by continually adding black marks to their spouse’s record of bad things. This only serves to increase resentment and unhappiness. As each little transgression is added to the other, it becomes more and more easy to let these little things bother you in a big way. If you think you are getting angry at things that should not matter like your spouse forget to put back the lid of the toothpaste make sure you are not “keeping track”. If this is the case, try to use some of this energy in maintaining a positive outlook and remembering the things you love in your spouse. Keeping track of wrongs in the home will lead to much pains and sorrow.
3. Do not treat your spouse worse than you would treat a stranger
Take some time such as a day, several days or a week, to pay close attention to the words and actions you direct to your spouse. Try to imagine yourself doing or saying the same things to a stranger, or even to an acquaintance. Would you be embarrassed to tell someone other than your spouse, why do they sound rude or cruel?
If the answer is yes then you should not treat your spouse in this manner. Sometimes husbands and wives become complacent and fail to value each other. In fact, your partner should get the best of you, not the worst. Remember to say things like “thank you” and “I’m proud of you.”
Be the biggest fan of your husband or wife and do not be afraid to tell him or her. It is very likely that your spouse will start doing the same for you. In this way, you will be eradicating unhappiness in the home.