33 Healthy Alternatives to Explosive Marital Issues (I)
Relationships are challenged every day from many angles due to certain factors. Most times, little issues degenerate to explosive situations, which may keep you wondering what could be wrong. If everybody in relationships will embrace healthy alternatives to unhealthy attitude and dispositions in marriage, it will be of a great benefit. The essence is to desist from damaging the emotion of your spouse and start rebuilding a friendship
Listed below are things to do when your relationship is confronted with certain issues:
1. Reconcile instead of Retaliating
You are confronted with the urge to cheat a few times in your relationship because something inside you gives the conviction that your partner is cheating. With this, you are looking for a way to pay back with the same measure of pain. Stop tending towards retaliation when you can reconcile with your spouse and move on with life. The next time you are tempted to retaliate, embrace settling the issue amicably and peacefully
2. Complement instead of Competing
Couples are meant to stand, act and speak as one. There should be no division in your relationship because the both of you are meant to complement each other. There should be no room for any competition. Use couples golden words; don’t enjoy self-glorification, whether to win your children’s loyalty for yourself only or to gain certain respect in the sight of extended family members, colleagues, friends and neighbours.
3. Appreciate instead of Condemning
When expectations are not met, there is a tendency to condemn your partner. However, you must learn to appreciate their little effort, and then, register your expectation of improvement next time. You will be amazed at your partner’s performance afterwards. Motivation helps the relationship and produces better results.
4. Correct instead of Criticising
Learn better ways of correcting your spouse without tampering with their self-esteem. If you do it the wrong way, your partner may never recover from the damage for a long time. This will affect communication between the both of you, and the trust of expressing feelings from the heart.
5. Love instead of Hating
Everybody is looking for love. We want people to love us, despite the fact that we are already being loved by our Creator, who expects us to grow in love towards Him so that He can teach us to receive His love and give same to others unconditionally. Love your spouse in all situations, pleasant or unpleasant, easy or difficult, wherever and however.
6. Forgiveness instead of Mercilessness
Learn better ways to deal with hurts and offences. Relationships bring up avenues to cross each others part, but you need to forgive. Stop carrying over offences of many months and years ago. Give room for a second chance and many chances.
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7. Respect instead of Rebuking
Value your spouse, respect each other and desist from rebuking him/her either publicly and secretly. Never be caught in the web of the popular adage that says “many don’t value their relationships until they lose it”. See your spouse’s contribution to the relationship; never overlook but talk about it. Let your spouse know how much you value him or her today.
8. Spice up instead of Monotony
It appears many couples just act out a script in their relationship; nothing has changed or been added to the way they relate. Don’t wait for your marriage to continue with a downward spiral before you arrest the situation. When a relationship becomes monotonous, there is no pleasant surprise to look forward to. Courtesy is removed, and it can cause what you never bargained for. Spice up your marriage today; introduce new things and explore things that can help both of you grow towards each other and what can make you stronger and better in that relationship
9. Communicate instead of Refraining
It is important for you to learn better ways of communicating your grievances, instead of shouting, raking and attacking your spouse’s personality. Focus on the prevailing issues and settle them. Do not bury unresolved issues, it is dangerous! Never categorize any matter as a “no go area”. The earlier you discuss it, the better. Never assume that your partner is not good at talking, give room.
10. Pray instead of Complaining incessantly
Incessant complains and nagging has not been effective tools in getting desired and positive changes in any relationship. You have been adopting this approach and nothing seems to be improving. Why not turn to your Maker and talk to Him about that issue? When you pray, your burden is lifted. Prayer has always been an effective means of getting fast results and unusual miracles.
To be continued next week