33 Healthy Alternatives to Marital Explosive Issues (Part 2)
We examined a lot of issues in part 1 of this series. Here, in part 2, we shall look at some other healthy alternatives you can use to prevent little misunderstandings leading to explosive problems in your marriage.
These tips are practical and useful if you must grow in your relationship.
(11) Release instead of Repetitiveness: most couples repeat words to their spouse as if they are babies that forget things easily. Men especially hate it when their wives keep repeating the same word. It will be interpreted as nagging, you may be tempted to repeat severally especially when you have not seen positive changes, when the other party is not responding or when it appears you don’t have the desired result yet but you need to learn better approach, nagging does not yield positive result, embrace the attitude of releasing yourself from the trap of hurt and disappointment
(12) Build up instead of Pulling down: As couples in a marriage with team spirit in mind, you must always build up and not pull down your partner. You are not in any competition but in one team where if one goes down, everybody goes down, so you must seek to uphold the arms of your spouse. Be their number one fan and support their vision. Contribute positively to the growth and betterment of your marriage
(13) Inform instead of Insult: communication is very important to the success and survival of any marriage, therefore, always seek to inform your spouse and never insult them even if there is no mutual understanding of the matter at hand yet. You are now one, never do anything without informing and involving your spouse about your decision even when you have to give people things or you have to get something for yourself. Now that you are married, you should both labour to build trust and transparency to eliminate secrecy and unfaithfulness.
(14) Kindness instead of Harshness: kind words soothe the heart and relief a hurting spirit, always speak kind words and show kindness to your spouse. Don’t be harsh as if you are talking to your subordinate, show respect because respect is reciprocal. Lower your voice even during an argument. Learn to withstand losing any argument without feeling bad and offended.
(16) Maturity instead of Immaturity: maturity is beyond age. Maturity is shown in what you display as a character and your disposition when handling pressure and issues in your marriage, your reactions to things show how mature you are. Be matured enough to be at your best in your marriage because the display of immaturity will destroy your marriage. You are married now and it will be immature to tell everybody your spouse’s weakness or you report your spouse to family members.
(17) Friendship instead of Enmity: in marriage, you must have your spouse as your best friend and not anyone else. Be intentional about building a friendship in your marriage instead of creating room for enmity by just behaving as if you are mere housemates. Grow towards becoming soul mates with your spouse that will aid better understanding and boost intimacy in your marriage.
(18) Calmness instead of Aggressiveness: when you are calm in your disposition to your spouse, it makes him/her treat you better and makes your marriage evergreen. Never be aggressive even when situations present itself like that. Be calm while talking to your spouse, be calm to listen and understand them so that you won’t misinterpret their intentions. Aggressiveness usually birth violence and it is not good for both parties involved in marriage including their children
(19) Resolve instead of Reporting: even the tongue and the teeth sometimes fight but they have never for once reported to the lips so that it won’t cover them up. Why will you now report your spouse to people, expose and cause them shame and ridicule? If ordinary teeth and tongue are wise enough not to cause each other shame, how much more you a living being that knows the consequences of public ridicule. Stop washing your dirty linen in the public, Whenever issues arise because they will definitely arise, seek to resolve it without reporting it to any man. If you cannot deal with it alone, seek help from a Professional Family Counselor. Be wise!
(20) Unity instead of Division: united you stand as a couple and divided you will fall. Always live, act, talk, reason, eat, sleep and dwell in unity. When you are divided, many things will happen to your marriage negatively and there will be unanswered prayers. Stand as one and speak as one voice to raise your children, whenever there is a crack in your home, anything can find its way in to cause harm, be watchful!