5 Factors That Militate Against Acceptance In Marriage
-Bisi Adewale
Accepting our spouse as a distinct personality and celebrating our differences is something that must be done if we must build a better marriage and an intimate relationship. But there are 5 factors that militate against acceptance in marriage, these are:
Comparison-
One major reason you have not been able to accept your spouse is a comparison. If you are fond of comparing your wife with Mrs. A or Mrs. B, you will never appreciate the uniqueness or the “angel” in your house, and that would hinder you from enjoying the whole value of your spouse. Stop comparing your spouse, he or she can never be somebody else.
- Change-mindedness-Most of us marry our spouse with the intention of changing him or her, and then we spend years of married life trying to do just that, thereby making life difficult for our beloved spouse. Please bear this in mind; you can’t change an adult, his or her character, mannerism, or habits, were already formed before you met him or her.
- The inner picture-Another reason we always find it difficult to accept our mate is our inner picture, the picture we have in our mind about how a wife or husband should behave. If our spouse fails to meet this, it will lead to a lot of problems. Delete the inner picture now; accept him or her as he or she is.
- Our background and experience-A young wife from Maryland, Lagos complained about how her husband has been difficult and terrible in character. During counselling, she revealed her expectation like this: “I want a man that is very romantic, hugs me every morning before he goes out, sends love text message to me during the day, buys greeting cards and flower for me, massages my body for me when he returns in the night”. According to her, that was how her uncle whom she lived with normally does to his wife and she has been looking forward to her husband doing the same thing to her.
Unfortunately, the husband happens to be a traditional, rigid, non-romantic and no-nonsense man. Despite all that, this man was doing the woman failed to accept him because of her experience and expectation. Discuss your expectations with your spouse but never expect any man to meet your expectations only Christ can do that.
- Consumer mindedness- Majority of us went into marriage with a consumer mind; we all look forward to being served, to be worshipped and to be celebrated without the mind of doing the same thing for our spouses. With a consumer mind, you will always find it difficult to accept anything your spouse does for you.
5 Factors That Militate Against Acceptance In Marriage
