5 Secrets of Lasting Relationships
Do you think that a marriage can just grow without it been nurtured? Then you may be wrong. What are some of this?
1. Are together for the right reasons
You should not marry by pressure from family, friends or to make a good impression on society. You also should not get married because you think the relationship will improve or everything will be different after marriage. You need to get married by loving your partner and wanting to be with him forever.
2. The most important is not communication, but respect
The writer says that by analyzing the responses of people who lived together for 10 or 15 years, they said that communication was the most important part of a relationship. It sure is important. But when analyzing the response of couples with 20 to 40 years of coexistence, most answered that the most important thing was to maintain respect for the partner!
Mark believes that savvy people realize that no matter how open you are, one hour the divergent views of each will bring about conflict. And if there is no respect for what the other thinks and feels, small conflicts can be escalating and lead to greater hurts and disruptions.
But what would that respect be? An example given by Mark’s readers is not to speak badly of the spouse to his group of friends or family. Resolve your differences at home. To speak badly of the other in the back is a great demonstration of disrespect.
Respect the other’s space, your interests, hobbies, however much you are different from what you like.
3. You trust each other
“Do not have secrets, secrets divide you, always.” This was one of the valuable tips the writer received in this research.
If you feel uncomfortable with something that is happening in your relationship, speak openly to your partner. You will not be able to be happy with grievances. Talking about problems builds confidence and intimacy.
And trust is a key point in relationships. Do you trust your partner to take care of you if you get very sick tomorrow? Do you trust your partner to stay with your children for a period? Do you trust your partner to handle your money?
And if you do not trust, you may not be trustworthy either. For Mark, mistrust breeds mistrust. For example, if the partner starts snooping around for things he did not do, then you wonder why he is so insecure, and start wondering if the other is not hiding something from you.
4. A healthy relationship is done by two healthy people!
Understand that the responsibility of the spouse’s happiness within the relationship is not completely yours. “The problem is when all the happiness in the relationship is contingent on the other person and both people are in a state of constant sacrifice, just read it again.” That sounds awful,” comments Mark.
Always remember that first of all you are individuals, with your own identities and emotions, and you need to do things for yourself in your own time. Wanting to control the life of the partner or submit to this control is not healthy.
Never give up being the person who you are, love yourself for it! Having self-love makes it easier to love another person in a healthy way.
5. You will change over time!
Couples over 20 together have also raised an important issue: each one will change a lot over time! “We have changed faith, political parties, colors and numerous hair styles, but we love each other even more,” says one of Mark’s readers.
The tip of some couples is that you need to fall in love with this new person over and over again!
To make the union or marriage last, the above mentioned points are very important to note.