6 Attitudes To Help When Divorce Is Inevitable
The relationship does not always persist and a divorce becomes inevitable, no matter whether by the decision of one of the spouses or both. When there are children involved, they can be preserved with simple attitudes, but that both parents need to be aware of what will be best for the children.
Ways to help ease suffering and trauma to children include at least these 6 parent-conscious attitudes:
1. Cultivate the rules of coexistence
Just as they existed within the shared home, they must persist. Therefore, nothing to be more “nice” when you have custody of the child so that he likes more than one parent than another. These “good” attitudes are in fact destructive of everything that has been done to the child’s good development so far, when the parents agreed and lived under the same roof.
Therefore, everything done for the education and good manners of the child must remain in both places of coexistence of the children with their parents.
2. Avoid harming the image of the other parent
This agreement must exist and be practiced by both parents so that the child feels safe and loving. When one parent criticizes, lies or tries to harm another’s image, he will be doing nothing more than depreciating himself and losing his child’s trust.
The child will understand that the problem is her and not the brawl that occurs between her parents and her self-esteem will be greatly impaired.
3. Avoid situations of disorder
Many parents believe that not picking up the child at the scheduled time, harming travel and other situations such as presentations or child rides with delays and tattered excuses will be revenge on the ex-spouse and teaching them who is in charge.
In fact, the only one who will be harmed will be the son who will miss important events for him, in addition to getting the impression that the late father is not really interested in his commitments or his life, feeling rejected, despised and frustrated.
4. Do not argue with each other
It is extremely unpleasant to witness a discussion, especially when it comes from parents who can not understand each other. So when parents are in front of their children, parents should avoid it as much as possible. They can resolve their issues at other times without having to constrain small ones. And if one parent does not understand and starts a fight, the other may shy away from the children and later call in to resolve the issue.
5. Do not use the child to spy
As impolite as this attitude may seem, it is very frequent. Asking the child how the weekend went is one thing, but wanting to know the details of the ex-spouse’s life is abusive. Worse still when some doubts are ordered, when one of the parents asks the child before leaving to observe everything and tell you when to return. This is very cruel to the child.
6. Avoid unnecessary dramas
The child should leave home happy to be going to the other parent’s home. Parents who say they are sad when the child leaves and do it to win their love for themselves, as well as being dishonest with their ex-spouse, are very harmful to their children. This confuses them and they come to blame the other parent for the separation, making them unhappy and insecure.
When parents’ goals are still best for their children’s education, they will understand that selfish attitudes will be traumatic for the young and that they can be avoided through altruism and sincere concern for children’s development.
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