7 Bad Habits That Could Ruin Your Marriage
Do you pay more attention to Social Media (Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp, Instagram) and your smartphone than to your partner? Have you been avoiding sex? Do you hide big purchases from your partner? These behaviors hurt your marriage. But it’s not too late to change the bad habits. Here are the 7 worst relationship mistakes and how to start fixing them today.
- Addiction to anything
Addiction on any level – social media, food, alcohol, drugs, shopping or gambling – can sour a marriage fast. Note that your addiction quickly becomes a third party in your marriage.
So stop, and think about what you really value and how your addictive behavior is affecting your relationship, “Exploring your values will help you gain the determination to do the hard work to repair your marriage.” Addictions are powerful. You must first want help and then pursue counseling.
Surfing Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, or Twitter when you could be with your partner is a bad choice, make your bedroom a device-free zone, and agree on a set amount of time when you will surf the Internet or play “Words With Friends.” Make mealtimes device-free too.
So many couples are focused on gadgets and not on each other. Your gadget is not going to provide happiness and fond memories, Don’t let your phone seduce you into neglecting your partner.
- Avoiding sex
If you’ve slipped into the bad habit of making excuses about why sex has dwindled or is nonexistent, your marriage may be headed for trouble. Intimacy is the glue that holds a union together.
“You can’t set a potted plant in a corner for 20 years and expect it to live,”
Not in the mood? Your attitude toward your spouse may be the problem.
“You need to feel good about each other to be intimate. If you constantly fight, criticize and spout negativity, you can’t be close.
- Not setting healthy boundaries with your friends and family
It’s totally normal to share aspects of your personal life with friends and family, but that doesn’t mean they should become a third party in your relationship. If you make a habit of seeking out their input every time you and your partner disagree or you routinely reveal private information about your partner without their knowledge or consent, you should take steps to set better boundaries and focus on building trust in your relationship by keeping friends and family out of your love life.
- Not communicating
Does every conversation turn into a fight?
Good communication boils down to learning to ask for what you need; don’t expect the other person to be a mind reader, avoid vague statements and assumptions, “Make more ‘I’ statements, and clearly assert what you want.
One way to and effectively communicate with your partner is to sit facing each other. One partner makes a statement while the other simply listens – without responding – and then repeats what he or she said. Sometimes, this exercise takes as many as 10 tries before the listening partner gets what the other was expressing.
Women have an especially difficult time stating their needs. You may find it easier if you ask yourself, How does my request serve our relationship as a couple?
For example, you’re exhausted from the week and would like your husband to help with the children on Saturday morning, so you can go to your favorite yoga class. Consider how a more peaceful, rejuvenated you make a better partner for your husband.
By running your request through this filter, you may realize that what you’re about to ask for can help strengthen the relationship.
- Refusing to accept criticism
It can be hard to take criticism from the one you love most, especially when you see all the shortcomings they have yet to work on. And absolutely no one wants to hear about all the ways they screw up constantly. But if you’re partner is trying to give you some healthy feedback about where they see room for improvement in the relationship, ignoring their critiques could possibly lead them to have contempt for you, which can ultimately break down the bond you have.
- Suppressing your anger
We get why you would want to bottle up your anger: Things are going great in between you and your significant other, and you don’t want to ruin them by bringing up some unpleasant feelings that could lead to a tense disagreement. The outcome of being angry depends on how you deal with it.
“Being angry isn’t always a bad thing. Being angry can help you share your concerns. It can prevent others from walking all over you. It can motivate you to do something positive. The key is managing your anger in a healthy way.
- Constantly bringing up the past
If you can’t let go of what happened in the past, your relationship might be history soon. Being fixated on prior arguments or mistakes your partner made makes it extremely difficult to move forward. Consider seeing a couple’s counselor work through your issues in a healthy way so you can both approach the future with a clean slate.
In the end, something’s gotta give the bad habits or your relationship.