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8 Things Every Woman Needs To Know Before Applying For A Divorce

by Family Center
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8 Things Every Woman Needs To Know Before Applying For A Divorce
Divorce is not one of the easiest decisions anyone can make. Generally, the feeling of breaking starts, on average, 7 years before the decision. Most of the time the patterns that have generated that desire remain for those 7 years as well.

Of course, only the person in the relationship knows what is best for her. It is an individual decision that must be respected. But unless you are at physical risk and urgently need to get out of the relationship, you may be able to consider some issues before you talk to your husband.

To help, here are 8 things you need to know before filing for divorce:

1. There is a big difference between unhappy marriage and unsolvable marriage
Maybe what you really want is a better marriage and not a divorce. Before thinking about final separation, try to make your marriage happier. Learn to demand less and give more of yourself, to serve your husband, do the things he likes to eat.

They say that a man’s willingness to go home is proportional to how well his wife cooks. It sounds like machismo, but it’s not. Marriage is only good when one spouse does everything for the other. If your husband does not do it for you, take the first step, it is very likely that he will follow.

2. Part of the responsibility is yours
Do not blame your partner for everything bad in your life or your marriage. It may be that he is to blame, even a lot of guilt, but you also have your share. Nobody is perfect.

Recognizing that we are wrong can also help reverse something that seems already irreversible. Even if you continue to want to divorce, knowing how to recognize your responsibility is a good experience that will lead to your life and future relationships.

3. It may just be resentment
Was there something that hurt her deeply? Were you betrayed? Maybe it’s just resentment and if you blow the ashes there are still embers underneath. Is it something you can at least try to solve or soften? Is there any possibility of forgiveness? Has he repented and wants you to remain in the marriage? Is he willing to change? Take all of this into consideration before you think divorce is the solution. Seek the help of a couples therapist.

4. It may be that your expectations have been very high
Did you dream of a different life in marriage? Is the fairy tale romance over? Has reality been tough? It may be that your expectations were not met and your dreams did not come true. Remember that you have married someone so full of faults and perhaps dreams as yourself.

The “happy forever” of real life implies work, sacrifice, adapt to difficulties and still find joy in life. Disappointments and disappointments mean that you are alive. Cheers also come. Guaranteed.

5. Your life will change radically
If you have been a housewife until now or shared the expenses with your husband, from now on things can change radically. Unless your husband is rich and your children’s pension is fairly high and provides peace of mind for you and the children, you will probably need to get back into the job market.

If you already work, be aware that the pension your husband will pay for children (usually 30% of his salary) may not be enough for the expenses. Are you ready for this?

6. You have to be prepared for a possible judicial battle
It may be that you stay with the children, with the house and even with the dog. But, this may only be so after an exhausting legal battle. Do you feel prepared to fight for your children or for other reasons? Judicial battles can cause much suffering to the former couple and their children.

7. “My love” will change to “my goods”
While marriage exists, bonds create some harmony in relationships and there is relative peace. However, the moment the union falls apart, it brings feelings of hurt, anger, revolt at the other.
Desires of revenge and or of harming the ex-spouse in the sharing of the goods become very common and arise the so-called patrimonial frauds. The husband resenting the divorce petition conceals the property fraudulently so as not to divide them.

8. It is almost always possible to improve a marriage and avoid divorce.
Know that as hard as it may seem, not everything is lost. Everything can be fixed if there is mutual agreement. You may even give up on your marriage and hope that everyone respects your decision, however, leave with the awareness that you did everything you could.

Try to renew yourself, lose or gain weight, change your hairstyle, style of clothes, study, do something new. If you divorced you would certainly do all that, would not you? Why not try it now? Get out of the rut, invite your husband out, change to the furniture, if possible, then do something new. This has great psychological effect.

Everything tends to evolve, including relationships. Do not let your marriage stagnate. Try and see the result.

Article by Akinbode Toluleke check up Twitter on taakinbode

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