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9 Best ways to be a perfect wife

by Akinola Olabode

Being a good wife is not easy, even if you have a near-perfect husband. To be a good wife, you have to be able to communicate effectively, to keep your romance alive, and to be your husband’s best friend while maintaining your own identity. If you want to know how to do it, just follow these steps.

1. Communicate Effectively. Express your feelings and needs effectively. Your husband doesn’t have clairvoyant powers. If you want something, ask. If something is wrong, say so. Don’t drop hints or figure he’ll “come around” or you’ll never get anything done. If you want to be able to express how you feel, you should be able to speak with a positive tone and to listen to what your husband says instead of being accusatory. Avoid passing judgment. Let him finish what he’s saying before you respond. After he’s done talking, offer a solution. For instance, say, “I’m willing to live on a tighter budget if that means that I get to see you more often.”

2. Pick your battles. Some issues are worth fighting about, and some aren’t. If you spend all of your time nitpicking your husband about minor problems that don’t really matter, then he’s not going to listen to you when major issues come up. You should praise your husband for the things he does right much more than you argue with him about things that he does wrong. This will make him much more likely to listen to you, and much happier to be around you.

3. Be understanding when you discuss an issue with your husband. Fight right. Don’t let anger take over because it may cause you to say things that you will regret later. Even when you don’t agree with your husband, you need to respect his opinion and his viewpoint. To be a good wife, you need to understand that you may never agree on certain issues. No couple has an identical set of morals and beliefs, which means that both of you will need to learn to cope with occasions where you just can’t resolve your opinions.

4. Talk to your husband, not about him. Never talk to your friends or your family and say negative things about your husband if you’re not communicating with him first. Talking about your husband behind his back is disloyal. When you get married, your first loyalty is to your partner, not to your birth family or your social group. Complaining about your husband to your friends and family will not only not solve any of your problems, but it will also make them view your relationship in a more negative light.

5. Be Accepting. Have realistic expectations. Neither of you are perfect. Unmet expectations tend to frustrate everyone. If your expectations are truly too high or unrealistic, then you need to set standards that are obtainable. For example, it is unfair to expect lavish possessions and have the love of your life home for every meal. If you want more together time, then be prepared to have that desire fulfilled at some expense.

6. Don’t try to change your husband. Accept him as he is and let him know that you would never want him to change in any way for you. He has so much to offer you if only you give him the space to be himself. He is a growing individual, just like you are. Love him for who he is, and he’ll love you unconditionally in return.

7. Roll with the changes. You will experience crises together, from the loss of a job to the death of a parent. You may suffer financial hardship, or you may find yourselves unexpectedly wealthy and unsure of what to do. Your marriage can survive the changes if you’re willing to keep communicating and being flexible Remember that whatever changes happen, you and your husband are dealing with them as a team, not as people on the opposite side of a battle. Dealing with the changes together makes them much more manageable.

8. Accept that having children changes a relationship. You and your husband’s relationship will undoubtedly change and evolve once you bring kids into the equation. This doesn’t mean it’ll change for the worse, but it will mean that you will be spending a lot of your free time focusing on your kids instead of each other. Accept that this will change your relationship and work to make it thrive in new ways.

9. Accept your mutual mistakes. If you want to be accepted as a wife, then you have to be able to accept your husband’s mistakes and to sincerely respect his apologies for doing something wrong (as long as it doesn’t compromise you in a big way). If you hold a grudge too long, you won’t be able to appreciate the good things about your husband, so it’s best to accept his apologies, talk about how he won’t upset you again in this way, and move forward instead of harboring resentment about the past.

 

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