Sex may not sound like the most titillating thing in the world, but it is crucial to the health of your marriage.
Sex definitely has plenty of physical and psychological benefits to marriages such as married couples who have sex regularly live longer, have better heart health, enjoy a deeper connection, and can let go of annoyances easier.
Psychologist Paul Eastwick of the University of Texas at Austin says, “Passion is best defined as a combination of sexual connection and attachment longing.” I like his definition. Many experts believe passionate monogamy is impossible, boring, and dull. Passion is supposed to provide a high, much like a drug, and you can’t stay intoxicated forever with the same person. Several evolutionary biologists say men, in particular, are programmed to spread their seed around, assuring the survival of the species. Most want us to believe romantic love cannot be sustained and once it has died, it is gone. Let it go, get over it, and move on.
Such nonsense has disrupted our ability to think straight on this topic. God made us for permanent, solid, and secure attachments. There will be disruptions; romantic love is a series of connections and disconnections. But instead of moving away from one another and believing romantic love is dead, we need to move in, heal the traumatic or hurtful breach, and repair our love through empathic listening, attunement to the needs of our spouse, and touch.
There are differences in how men and women view sex, but it does play a pivotal role in marriage. Here are tips as a couple to enjoy sex in your marriage:
- SEX FOSTERS INTIMACY
This is probably the most obvious reason why married couples need to have more sex. Sex builds intimacy. Sure, you share everything, and there’s a good bond in your relationship, and yet if sex ranks low in how you express your love for each other, something’s not right. Having to live together and the certainty of each other’s presence can cause your chemistry to fizzle out. Although you’re in love, you may have lost the sexual chemistry you had at the beginning, so what you need is a little more sex to bring it back.
- GOD MADE SEX FOR PHYSICAL PLEASURE…AND MORE
If you take a close look at the animal kingdom, you’ll learn that most creatures only engage in sex when the female is fertile. (And, did you know that human women are one of the only female species on earth that experience orgasm?) Unlike animals, human married couples were created to enjoy sexual intimacy at any given time.
But intimacy is a gift that goes far beyond the feel-good sensations of a sexual encounter. It keeps us bound closely together, brings us comfort, and nurtures peace and security in our marriages. Sex is a way to romance one another, play together, or share a quiet moment. Far beyond physical connection, lovemaking creates and maintains a bond for husbands and wives that is soul-deep. So let’s take this one step further: God created sex to make us holy.
- YOU WON’T REGRET HAVING IT
Sex is designed to keep both partners content. When you’re in a long-term relationship or marriage, you won’t regret putting in the extra effort to have sex. If your partner really wants you and you just go for it, you’ll feel better afterward.
Obviously, if this is the only way you’re having sex, there is a problem. If you feel fully sexually unsatisfied or are experiencing an unusually prolonged dip in libido, that is a separate issue and you should address it with your therapist or healthcare provider. Sex is like going to the gym: You don’t want to do it before, but once you suck it up and hit the elliptical, you feel amazing afterward.
- IT’S A STRESS-BUSTER
It’s needless to say how amazing it can be to come home after a long day and release all that pent-up stress-energy with your partner in bed. Experts say that regular sex helps people respond better to stress due to the release of feel-good endorphins in the body. Not only does it help you relax, but it gives plenty of bonding time with your partner in bed. And then there’s all the good night’s sleep you’ll get after that. Although a good work out is not recommended just before sleep, sex is an exception to it. It is observed that it decreases body temperature and promotes deep sleep.
- SEX BONDS COUPLES TOGETHER
The burst of endorphins in the brain after sexual activity is responsible for helping couples bond during sex. It is not only about penetration and finishing, but the playful exploration that comes before it that will give you the most intimate moments with your partner. Both men and women need passion, romance, and chemistry to show each other that their love is alive and doing well.
Read Also:5 SIGNS OF A CHEATING GIRLFRIEND
- SEX AIDS PROBLEM-SOLVING
As time progresses in a long relationship, couples disagree more on things than they did before at the start of the relationship. Conflicts due to the difference of opinion become commonplace, and couples tend to drift apart. Sex then becomes an important activity to make a truce. Sexual intimacy helps couples work through their disagreements more lovingly as they look beyond their differences to find common ground that works for both instead of engaging in a power struggle. It also rekindles lost romance and reminds them of the trust they share even in the middle of their toughest struggles.
- SEX BUILDS A DEEPER LEVEL OF COMMUNICATION
Sexually satisfied couples will tell you that sex isn’t confined only to the bedroom; the roots of it extend well beyond, into their everyday lives. Communication outside your bedroom is the key – without it, your physical connection in the bed would be weak. Great sex starts in the mind, which includes honest communication with your partner at all times. Building up to it is what makes sex so much more enjoyable, especially for women, it helps them feel a deep connection with their man and truly love the intercourse.
- SEX BUILDS BETTER SELF-ESTEEM
Sex is important to feel great about yourself. Nobody enjoys being in a marriage that lacks physical passion. Everybody wants to be desired. Therefore, passionate and invigorating sex is an indicator that your partner is still into you. Being great in bed and having your spouse come back to you wanting more is a great self-esteem booster for both men and women. On the other hand, examining how important sex is in a long-term relationship shows that a fizzled-out chemistry or being insecure about yourself and performing poorly can eventually drive your partner to look for other means outside the marriage.
- SEX HAS PLENTY OF PSYCHOLOGICAL BENEFITS
Besides bonding and intimacy, sex has plenty of psychological effects that are both good for you and your marriage. Sex with your spouse is known to increase the quality of your life and your happiness. However, this relates to meaningful sex with the full involvement of both partners. Sex releases endorphins which are essential to feeling good, lowering irritability, and fighting off periods of depression. The hormone oxytocin released during sexual stimulation helps in bonding and the feeling of security and connectedness.
- SEX IS A CELEBRATION
Although sex needs no reason other than itself, many couples have sex as a celebration of their love and intimacy. Not only does it feel amazing, but it also keeps the spark alive and staves off monotony.
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