This is one of those stories that sound unreal until you realize it is happening every day in Nigeria.
Her name doesn’t matter. What matters is that she was a good woman, kind, educated, respectful, and ready for marriage. She met a man who loved her genuinely. Not one of those unserious men who waste years of a woman’s life, but a man who was clear about his intentions from the beginning.
When he said, “I want to marry you,” he meant it.
Their relationship wasn’t perfect, but it was healthy. They prayed together, planned together, and spoke about their future with excitement. So when he finally told her family he wanted to come and “do the needful,” everyone was happy, or so it seemed.
The introduction day came. Smiles everywhere. Laughter. Handshakes. Hope.
Then the list came out.
As the items were being read, the groom’s family exchanged uncomfortable glances. The bride price alone was shockingly high. Then came extra charges, this one for the uncle, that one for the aunt, another one because “that’s how it’s done here.” Nothing was symbolic anymore. Everything had a price tag.
The young man tried to stay calm. He asked politely if there was room for discussion.
The response?
“If he truly loves our daughter, he will pay. If he can’t afford it, he should step aside.”
That sentence changed everything.
He went home troubled. He ran the numbers again and again. He wasn’t broke, but he also wasn’t rich. He wanted to start marriage with peace, not loans and lifelong debt. Still, because he loved her, he tried. He borrowed. He cut down his savings. He even considered selling something valuable.
But the demands didn’t reduce.
What broke him wasn’t just the money—it was the lady’s silence. She hoped her family would show understanding, but she didn’t fight hard enough. She didn’t speak boldly enough. And slowly, the man began to feel like a wallet, not a future husband.
One day, he stopped calling.
Then he stopped coming.
Eventually, he walked away.
Months later, the lady heard the news: the same man had married someone else. A simple bride price. No humiliation. No excessive demands. Just two families who valued peace over profit.
She cried, not because he married another woman, but because she knew why she lost him.
Sadly, this is not just her story.
Across Nigeria, excessive and ridiculous bride price demands have robbed many women of marriage at the right time. Many ladies of marriageable age are single, not because they are proud, difficult, or unserious, but because men are afraid of what marrying them will cost.
Even worse, many young men now openly say, “I can’t marry from that region.” Not because the women are bad, but because the dowry expectations are crushing.
What was meant to honor a woman has now become a burden on her destiny.
Bride price was never meant to be a business transaction. It was symbolic, an expression of appreciation, not a means of exploitation. When families turn marriage into a marketplace, love becomes the casualty.
A Gentle but Important Teaching
Parents, your daughters are not for sale. You raise them to be wives, not commodities. Do not price them out of happiness.
Young women, respect culture, but do not be silent when culture is hurting your future. A respectful voice today can save years of regret tomorrow.
Young men, prepare for marriage responsibly, but do not allow unreasonable demands to define your worth or delay your destiny.
Marriage should begin with joy, honor, and peace, not pressure, shame, and debt.
When wisdom leads tradition, love survives. When greed replaces wisdom, everyone loses.
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