Is Spanking Still Okay in 2026?

It's a busy evening in a Lagos home. A child knocks over a glass of water, or maybe they talk back after being told to do homework. In many Nigerian families, the quick response might be a slap on the hand, a cane across the legs, or a firm spank something many of us grew up with and heard justified as "tough love" or "spare the rod, spoil the child." It's familiar, it's cultural, and for generations, it's been seen as the way to raise respectful, disciplined kids.

But today, more parents are pausing and asking: Does it really work? Or does it do more harm than good? This isn't about judging anyone parenting is tough enough without added guilt. It's about looking honestly at what science, real-life experiences, and our changing world tell us. Spanking might feel effective in the moment, but the growing evidence suggests it can leave lasting marks on a child's heart, mind, and future marks that affect not just them, but our families and society as a whole.

Across the country, surveys show it's still very common. Recent UNICEF data from 2025 estimates that around 80-85% of children in Nigeria experience some form of violent discipline at home, with rates often higher in the north (up to 85%) than in the south (around 70%). Caning, slapping, flogging—these are everyday tools for many parents dealing with crowded homes, long workdays, and the pressures of raising kids in a fast-changing city like Lagos.

Yet Nigeria signed onto the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child back in 1991, promising to protect kids from all violence. The Child Rights Act of 2003 says children deserve dignity and freedom from degrading treatment, though it leaves room for "reasonable chastisement."

Enforcement is spotty only some states fully apply it and cultural norms often win out. But things are shifting: The government has pledged to ban corporal punishment in schools by 2028, train teachers in gentler methods, and survey families more deeply on violence against children.

Globally, over 70 countries (as of early 2026) have fully banned all corporal punishment, even at home. Places like Sweden started this decades ago, and many others followed. It's not about erasing culture it's about asking if traditions still serve our kids in the best way possible.

Why Some Parents Still Choose Spanking

Parenting isn't easy. When a toddler runs toward the road or a teenager defies you repeatedly, you want something that stops the behavior now. Many parents say a quick, controlled spank gets attention faster than words alone. They argue it's done with love, not anger followed by a hug and explanation so the child knows it's about the action, not them as a person.

In faith communities or traditional settings, it's seen as building resilience. Life in Nigeria can be hard economic stress, insecurity, competition so some believe a bit of "toughness" early on prepares kids better. There are success stories: adults who say, "My parents spanked me, and look how far I've come." It feels like it worked for obedience and respect.

It has to be rare, mild, age-appropriate, and never out of frustration. Done that way, they say, it teaches boundaries without breaking the bond.

But What Does the Evidence Actually Say?

Over the last few decades, hundreds of studies (including major reviews in 2025 from the World Health Organization and others) have looked at spanking and similar punishments. The pattern is clear and consistent: No strong evidence shows long-term benefits, but plenty points to real harms.

Kids who get spanked regularly are more likely to show aggression, anxiety, depression, lower self-esteem, and even physical health issues later in life.

A big 2025 analysis across dozens of low- and middle-income countries (including places like Nigeria) found physical punishment linked to worse parent-child relationships, more violence (as victims or perpetrators), poorer mental health, substance use, sleep problems, and slower development. On average, these children are 24% less likely to hit key developmental milestones.

Physically, it spikes stress hormones like cortisol, which can change how the brain handles fear, emotions, and self-control similar to effects seen in more severe abuse. Emotionally, it teaches that love and pain go together, or that problems get solved with force. Behaviorally, it might get short-term compliance, but long-term? Kids often become more defiant when the threat isn't there, or they hide behaviors instead of learning right from wrong inside.

In Nigeria, where mental health support can be hard to access, these effects hit hard. Spanked kids are more likely to struggle with school, relationships, or even repeat the cycle as parents. It's not that every spank ruins a child many bounce back with love and support but why take the risk when gentler ways work better over time?

How It Affects Kids at Different Ages

Toddlers' brains are wiring fast for trust and security. A smack can confuse "I love you" with "I'm scared of you," making attachment shaky. School-age kids might start bullying others (copying what they see) or withdraw. Teens often feel rejected, leading to bigger rebellions or low confidence.

Boys sometimes get hit harder, feeding ideas of "real men" being tough; girls might learn to stay quiet. Either way, it can shape how they see authority, love, and conflict for life.

Nigeria's laws are in a gray area: The Child Rights Act protects dignity but doesn't fully ban home spanking. Courts lean toward protecting kids, and recent pushes (like school bans and teacher training) show momentum. Globally, ethics say children aren't property—they have rights to safety and respect.

Better Ways That Actually Build Strong Kids

There are tools that work without the downsides. Positive discipline focuses on connection and teaching:

• Let natural consequences teach — They spill juice? They help clean it up. It builds responsibility, not resentment.
• Name emotions — "I see you're angry—let's talk about it." This helps kids manage feelings themselves.
• Praise specifically — "I love how you shared your toy—that was kind!" It reinforces good behavior more than punishment does.
• Calm time together — Sit with them, breathe, reconnect instead of isolating.

• Family talks — In our communal culture, discuss rules as a group so kids feel heard.
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Programs like these reduce hitting and yelling while making homes calmer and kids more cooperative. It takes patience (especially on tough days), but parents who switch often say the relationship deepens, and kids become more self-disciplined.