DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: WHY WOMEN ARE NOT SPEAKING OUT
With the high rate of domestic violence world wide, it is amazing why women are still keep quiet and not speaking out when their husbands are beating or abusing them Statistics shows that domestic violence Is increasing worldwide even among the learned and educated ones.
Every minute police in the UK receive a domestic assistance call – yet only 35% of domestic violence incidents are reported to the police (Stanko, 2000 & Home Office, 2002)
The 2001/02 British Crime Survey (BCS) found that there were an estimated 635,000 incidents of domestic violence in England and Wales. 81% of the victims were women and 19% were men. Domestic violence incidents also made up nearly 22% of all violent incidents reported by participants in the BCS (Home Office, July 2002)
It is so surprising how long may women are keeping quiet before they speak out if they speak out at all.
On average, a woman is assaulted 35 times before her first call
#1THINKING THE MAN WILL CHANGE:
Some women keep their mouth shut with the hope that their husband will change.
The truth is except you speak out he may never change, Men that beat their wives may never change without outside help, so you need to speak out to the right people now.
#2 THINKING THEY CAUSE IT:
Whole lots of women are been made to believe they cause the abuse, so they have to suffer for what they cause, hence they hardly report abuse
#3 NO GOVERNMENT PROTECTION:
In Africa, Government hardly protect their women from abuse, in some cases reporting an abuse to police is just wasting your time as they will not take any step against the abuser, so these women will keep quiet since the Government is not on their side
#4 NOT KNOWING WHO TO TALK TO:
Most women do not even know who to talk to that will believe them. Their husbands are complete gentlemen in the society, telling people who they are behind the close doors is out of the calculation
#5 FEAR OF ANNOYING THE MAN THE MORE:
Some women do fear that speaking out may annoy the man the more, according to them “to keep the peace you have to keep your mouth shut”
#6 FEAR OF LOSING THEIR HOMES: Fear of losing their homes is another reason women hardly talk no matter what they encounter at home
Fear of losing their homes is another reason women hardly talk no matter what they encounter at home
#7 FEAR OF MORE BEATING:
Most wives will not speak out because the husband has warned them never to speak out to anybody or risk more beating.
#8 FUNNY LOVE
I notice a trend recently, some women who are been beating for any reason are not speaking out because they claim to love their husbands and they don’t want to put him into trouble. This is very funny but true.
#9 FEAR OF LOSING THEIR CHILDREN:
Many women endure been abused because they fear losing their children if they escalate the issue and it ends in divorce. In Africa where Men takes custody of a child without the woman having right to them, women are always careful to report abuse to keep their right to their Children
#10 FEAR OF WHAT SOCIETY WILL SAY:
I grew up in an environment where women battering is seeing as women fault, Men that beat their wives are seeing as a disciplinarian, somebody in charge of his home and hero. With this in mind, every woman been battered in this environment will never speak out. A “respected” pastor boasted to me recently how he discipline his wife and beat her up in the public “for misbehaving”. I was so shocked to see all members of his Church hailing him on women inclusive. Women in that kind of society will find it difficult to speak out. I think our value should change we should stop treating our wives like goats
#11 FEAR OF LOSING HER SOURCE OF INCOME. Lack of financial empowerment and personal source of income is one of the reasons a woman may not speak out when been abuse. It is one of the reasons a man abusing his wife may not allow her to work, so that she may not be empowered to speak out.
#12 FEAR OF WHERE TO GO IF SHE IS SENT OUT:
Lots of women in Africa are not empowered financial, hence, they can’t get a decent accommodation for themselves without the help of their husbands. Women in this kind of situation will never speak out no matter the level of violence
#13 LACK OF PROTECTION FROM THE SOCIETY:
In the environment where I grew up, wife battering is not seen as anything strange, they believe it is normal and women are always been blamed for been too stubborn and difficult, whole a Man is hail as a Champion. Women in this kind of environment hardly speak out as speaking out will not yield any result.
If your spouse is abusing you click here to know what to do
Also read: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: WHY WOMEN MUST SPEAK OUT
Pastor Bisi Adewale is a family and relationship expert; author of Secret of Irresistible Wife and more than 70 other books on marriage and family life. You can reach him on firstname.lastname@example.org, 08068312004, 08051512823, BB: 2AF5C883, Blog: www.bisiadewale.com, Website:www.familybooster.com facebook.com/PastorBisiAdewale