Experts explain the top 5 reasons couples fight
There are innumerable reasons for couples to quarrel, but experts have pointed out 5 common good:
1. Lack of interest in working to improve relationships
Unfortunately, the modern culture of the “Spoiled? Buy New!” Has been widely applied to marital relations. People are opting for the quickest method of getting rid of problems (point 5 explains a little why they do so). Although they initially can not see it, it is much more laborious and costly to replace the old spouse with his old problems, a new partner with hidden problems.
2. Try to modify the partner
It is common to find people who fully rely on their power of influence and are convinced that a pressure, in the right dose, will be enough to mold their spouse until it becomes the object of their desire.
This can be very dangerous for at least two reasons:
The spouse will feel hurt because he realizes that he is not accepted the way he is. If he does not give in to the pressure to change, the discussions will be endless and may result in both sides’ dissatisfaction and frustration – a perfect setting for divorce.
If it changes, it may just be something external, not a real change. What if you change, in fact, who guarantees that you will not change your preferences for the relationship? It is not uncommon for an “improved” person to feel that they “deserve more” and leave the relationship.
Pressing for a change to occur is quite different from persuading the loved one to extract the best in them. All couples should strive to be a positive influence on each other’s lives.
3. Imitating Parents’ Standards
Several studies conclude that children tend to imitate their parents’ example in many ways, including how to deal with marital conflicts. So if the children witnessed their parents screaming and fighting with one another instead of solving problems peacefully, it is quite likely that this is how they will face the problems of their own marriage.
That’s one reason why children of divorced parents are more likely to divorce as well.
4. Intolerance of differences
I am not referring to serious matters, such as behavioral deviations (pathological or not) or even a lifestyle totally opposite to ours (they are things with which it is practically impossible to live without at least stress).
I talk about one’s unique characteristics, their likes and dislikes. Many do not tolerate these differences that make us unique, even more so to someone they are married to. This intolerance leads to fights easily.
The point is that everyone, at some point, will say or do something that we will disagree with. As long as one is not prepared to accept these differences, one will not be able to live a life for two.
Humanity has never been so immediate as in our day. The Internet takes us in seconds to any part of the world, solves most of our doubts at the same speed. Companies stipulate tightening deadlines. And we think the same can apply to our relationship. Only not!
The great truth is that relationships take time to build. One must keep this in mind and exercise much patience, otherwise, neither this nor any other relationship will avenge.
Any human relationship is something that evolves every day, at the same pace, that has nothing to do with the collection of the capitalist world, Where something must always be produced.
Therefore, in order for the relationship to last, the couple need NOT NEED to escape conflicts. “Often, the conflict is legitimate, and putting it away is a bad policy,” says a therapist.
Experts assert that it is possible to argue civilly, without aggression and offense, focusing only on what was raised for discussion.
Article by Akinbode Toluleke check up Twitter on taakinbode
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