Home » HANDLING ISSUES TO AVOID BREAK UP DURING COURTSHIP (Part 2)

HANDLING ISSUES TO AVOID BREAK UP DURING COURTSHIP (Part 2)

by Family Center

HANDLING ISSUES TO AVOID BREAK UP DURING COURTSHIP (Part 2)

Bisi Oludare

Issues are meant to happen and they are part of life. Even among siblings, there is bound to be issued let alone someone that grew up in a different environment and has been used to a particular way of life and norm for more than a decade.

There is nothing wrong when there are issues but how they are eventually handled and what comes out of it will determine whether the relationship will lead to marriage or die prematurely at the courtship stage.

Here, we shall be looking at the concluding part of handling issues to avoid break up during courtship.

7. Where To Live
This can cause a problem too if they don’t want to live in the same place. Some years ago a close friend had to end his courtship because of this simple thing. The lady doesn’t want Lagos and she was blunt about it and the guy is called into ministry with Lagos as his specific location at the time, after due consideration with some other things about their visions, this led to their break up.

How To Handle It: Communicate where you want to live and why you want to live in that said place then consider it together

8. Temperament
It’s quite sad that some people don’t even know their temperament. There are four main temperaments and they are categorized into two major types. We have Introvert and extrovert, then there are two types under introvert and two under extrovert. Extrovert (Sanguine & Choleric) and Introvert (melancholy & Phlegmatic). You need to know where your fiancé/fiancée falls so that you can relate better with fewer issues. With this, you will know why they don’t want a crowd, loves their privacy, are a perfectionist, wants to always dominate and always want to lead. This can surely cause issues if one is the outgoing type and the other loves to stay indoors

How To Handle It: Know your individual temperaments, celebrate the strengths and use the weaknesses for your good

9. Pregnancy and Number of Children
This is one serious issue, I remember during our own discussions too, as God will have it we didn’t really have scores to settle because to some extent we want the same thing so there’s a point where we met which was okay but if in your case you don’t want pregnancy immediately and he wants it immediately after wedding or probably you want three children but he wants five, then you could have issues if not well handled. I remember a lady who was the only child of his parent and so wanted at least six children meanwhile “Bro” wanted just two. It was a serious issue for them before they could reach a consensus.

How To Handle It: You just need to talk and meet at a favourable point. If she wants six children and you want two, then you can say let’s have three or something like that

10. Likes
Let us just take this from the area of food, if you marry a man that loves pounded yam but you are a spaghetti/noodle person, this can cause a serious issue in marriage so you need to trash it now.

How To Handle It: it will be good to say you both should reach a consensus but the truth is, as a lady you must learn to cook what he likes if you don’t want him to be a regular customer in ‘Mama Put’ and God Forbids he is snatched away from you

11. Sex
Nobody is saying you should practice it in courtship but whatever you think he/she needs to know let them know. There was a case of a Brother who kept himself and when they were courting asked the Sister if she was a virgin and she said yes. It was when they got married he got to know that she was not just a virgin but a very loose slut. Because he could not divorce her, they started living as housemates, not even roommates.

How To Handle It: Be open and clear about what needs to be known.

There is nothing like ‘we are not compatible’ but you must be intentional about making your relationship work because the essence of any relationship should be marriage.

ALSO READ: Handling Issues To Avoid Break Up During Courtship (Part 1)


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