IMPORTANT THINGS TO DISCUSS WITH YOUR PARTNER BEFORE MARRIAGE (Part Two)
Bisi Adewale
continuation from part one
HEALTH: Talk about your health, past sicknesses, the medication you are using, their side effects, present health challenges, sicknesses in your family and so on. IMPORTANT THINGS TO DISCUSS WITH YOUR PARTNER BEFORE MARRIAGE (Part Two)
FAMILY MEMBERS: Talk about your family members, stating the whole truth about them, so that he or she may know how to handle them. IMPORTANT THINGS TO DISCUSS WITH YOUR PARTNER BEFORE MARRIAGE (Part Two)
FAMILY OBLIGATIONS: You need to let your beloved know how committed you are to your family members. How much time do you spend with them now, or how much do you expect to spend with them once you’re married and possibly have children? You may also need to talk about how much time you expect your spouse to spend with them. Make it clear if you can’t do without your family. And how will this affect your spouse? You need to let your beloved know this before you go into marriage and you should know the commitment of your spouse too to his or her family.
MONEY: You need to talk about finance. Will there be a joint account? Who handles financial decisions at home? Do you have any debt, mortgage, recurrent bills, vows, subscription, and obligations and so on? What kinds of budgeting will you be using, what bank and will the woman work? Will it be my money, your money or our money? Discuss this deeply, because money issues are a potential flashpoint in marriage.
BEDROOM: Are you going to stay in the same or separate rooms? Will your children stay in the same room with you and at what stage will they have their own rooms? Please, talk about this.
THE PLACE OF TELEVISION: Will you allow television in your room? How many hours will you be watching television a day? What manners of programme do you think is not okay for your family?
PAST RELATIONSHIPS: Share your past relationships. Any child involved? Any abortion?
PAST LIFE: Discuss your past failures and successes, sex abuse or rape, challenges and victories, relationships and battles
ALSO READ: IMPORTANT THINGS TO DISCUSS WITH YOUR PARTNER BEFORE MARRIAGE (Part one).
PARENTING BACKGROUND: Talk about your relationship with your parents. Were you abused as a child? And, are you close to them or you are in battles with them? What parenting style did you experience: bullying, pampering or gross indulgence of your desires? Are they clingy? Or, do you rather think they will easily release you? Who are you closer to, dad or mum?
TEMPERAMENT: You need to know your temperament and that of your beloved. The weaknesses and strengths of temperaments should be seriously discussed.
PRAYER STYLE: Do you believe in loud prayers or silent ones? Will prayer be daily, or comes occasionally? Will there be midnight prayer or will it just be during the day?
PHONE USAGE: Can you pick each other’s call? What will be the budget for telephone communication every month? Will chatting be okay in the house when you are together in the night?
CONFLICT MANAGEMENT: Talk about the method for conflict management. Can you report each other to anybody and who will that be? Talk about forgiveness, reconciliation and fighting fair.
ALSO READ: IMPORTANT THINGS TO DISCUSS WITH YOUR PARTNER BEFORE MARRIAGE (Part one)
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