by O. S David


Although societal view, coupled with cultural diversity, has got some people confused about what the roles of the husband and wife should be, the bible is clear on the role each spouse should play in the home. As a Christian husband, you are to love your wife unconditionally and sacrificially (Ephesian 5:25).

That means you will do whatever will bring out the best in her, regardless of the cost. Affirm your love for her and tell her how much you value her. Don’t expect her to read your mind to ascertain how much you love her.

Practically, in words and action, demonstrate your love for her. Knoiw her needs-spiritual, emotional, physical, and material needs- and meet those needs. Assist her to fulfill her lofty ambition, be it spiritual or secular. Value and see her as a gift from God.

Being the physical and emotional weaker one, you should treat her gently, tenderly, delicately, fairly, and understandingly. Don’t treat her with neglect and contempt, or with inhumanity and severity. Obey the scripture that says the strong should bear the infirmities of the weak. Bear with and accommodate her weaknesses, and don’t expose them to a third party, nor despise her on account of them.

Spend time to listen to her and know how she feels. A woman craves for attention, so shower her with attention. Never make her feel neglected or unwanted.

When you shower love and affection on her, she will automatically love and respect you in return (Ephesians 5:25, 28-29)


Also, take time to study her strengths and weaknesses, appreciating her strengths and helping her work on her weaknesses. By so doing, you will bring out the best of her character. Besides, be kind to her and supportive. When you are at home, help her with the household chores, even without her asking. It could mean a lot to her.

Help with the children even if all you can do is to show that you care about them. By studying and knowing her, you will win her heart and affection. D.L. Moody says “if I want to find out whether a man was a Christian, I wouldn’t go to a minister; I’d go and ask his wife. If a man doesn’t treat his wife right, I don’t want to hear him talk about Christianity. What is the use of talking about salvation for the next life if he has no salvation for this life?” so treat your wife right.


Aside the deep love and affection you shower on your wife, you should ensure you fend for your family, because God expects you as the man to be the primary income earner and breadwinner of the family (1Timothy 5:8).

The primary duty of the wife, on the other hand, “wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). God has given the prerogative of headship to the man, and no family prospers where that agreement is violated. Within proper boundary and limits, therefore, it is the duty of the wife to obey, respect or submit herself to her husband. As a Christian wife, you should submit to your husband in everything excepts issues bordering on conscience and conviction, and never undermine his authority, antagonize nor nag him for any reason.

Your other roles include supporting him in providing for the family or be a shared breadwinner. Don’t sit idly at home and expect him to supply all your needs and that of the family, especially in these hard and difficult times.

Have a gainful employment or craft and contribute to the family income. Don’t be a burden or liability to your husband. Finally, keep the home and be the caregiver for your children (Titus 2:4-5)


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