by Bisi Adewale


Bisi Adewale

A man and a woman were driving down a rural road but in the opposite direction.

As their two cars passed each other, the man rolled down his window and shouted, “DONKEY!”

Not to be outdone, the woman shouted back, “MONKEY!”

She felt good for retaliating. But as she bent at the sharp corner ahead, she hit a donkey with her car and it rolled several times.

As she dragged herself out from the wreck, she remembered what the man meant… He was trying to warn her.

Some women never understand what men try to tell them. Also, some men never clarify what they want to say to women.

Every couple went into marriage through effective communication. Lovebirds talk, gist and even gossip. But after the wedding ceremony, the new couples may find it difficult to communicate with each other. Their marriage begins to drift away in the cold which many married couples may never recover from. They find it impossible to ignite their old love. Let’s examine the things that kill communication in marriage:

  1. BUSYNESS: When partners begin to get busy to the extent that they hardly spendtime together, their communication life will be affected.
  • CHANGE IN PRIORITY: Dating lovers make themselves a priority. But immediatelyafter saying “Yes, I do”, they begin to shift their priority to other things like jobs, children, friends, etc.
  • HATRED: Irritations, hurts, hatred, offences make communication difficult.
  • PRIDE: Some people in a marriage are just too proud. They find it difficult to listento their mate’s views, suggestions and corrections. Communication will never be effective with this kind of attitude.
  • MIND READING: Some people are in the habits of reading the minds of their

spouses and putting words in their mouths. You hear them saying: “I know what you are thinking”, “It is not what you think”. An attitude like this will hurt communication.

  • PREPARED TEXT: Some people have their prepared texts in their minds. They arenot even ready to listen to their spouses but to speak their mind.
  • WRONG TIMING: Discussion time can also be a killer of marriage. You don’t talkabout bills and rent to a man who just arrived home from the office.
  • WRONG TONES: The voice you use can be a killjoy
  • WRONG PLACES: There are things to say in the bedroom. You dare not say it in theliving room.
  1. WRONG ASSOCIATION: Going out with wrong people will change your beliefsystem and the way you talk.
  1. DISTANCE: When you are not together, communication will be dealt withnegatively.
  1. SELFISHNESS: Selfish people want things their way, they are always rigid whendiscussing.
  1. PARENTING WORK: Attention not given to the children can affect a marriage badly.

Bisi Adewale is a family life Coach, Author of more than 100 books on Marriage
Follow him on twitter, Instagram, , LinkedIn @bisiadewale  facebook.com/PastorBisiAdewale WhatsApp number 08068312004

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