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Kinds Of Pastors’ Wives Which Church Members Do Not Know

by Oba Samuel
Kinds Of Pastors' Wives Which Church Members Do Not Know

Kinds Of Pastors’ Wives Which Church Members Do Not Know

A Pastor’s wife is not just another woman; she is the person behind the man on the pulpit. Her support or otherwise will show in the work of the man. Hardly can any Pastor make an impact without the support of his wife. That is why every Pastor should do everything possible to train, develop, encourage, motivate and bring up his wife to their level in the ministry to get the best from them.

We have three major types of Pastors’ wives as it related to the ministry.

They are:


These are Pastors’ wives that are not for the ministry at all. They are destroyers, prepared to do anything to dismantle the ministry of their husbands. What they do:

  • Some refuse to attend their husband’s churches.
  • Some deny their husbands sex
  • They go around reporting their husbands to church members
  • They are fond of borrowing money and owing church members
  • Some commit adultery
  • Many of them provoke their husband to beat them
  • Some steal church money
  • Many of them fight the ushers and children’s teachers for beating their kids
  • Some become demonic and destroy the ministry with diabolical acts.
  • Many of them turn their children against their fathers.
  • Some join the gossip group of the church
  • They fight church members and embarrass their husbands.
  • Many of them turn their children against their fathers
  • Many of them demand for sex when they know their husbands are fasting
  • Some resort to diabolical power.
  • They come late to church and contribute nothing to the progress of the church

Practical Examples

  • A Pastor’s wife broke the tithes box and stole the money inside
  • A Pastor’s wife had a man friend right opposite her husband’s church and later moved in with the man when she was challenged. She resorted to sitting in the front of her new ‘home’ just opposite the church to make jest of the Pastor and members on their way to service.
  • A Pastor’s wife who held her husband’s clothes and prevented him from attending service.
  • A Pastor’s wife who banned all church members from visiting her husband.
  • A Pastor’s wife who slapped the women’s leader.
  • A Pastor’s wife who wore Mini Skirt to church with topless cloth just to show her displeasure with her husband’s ministry.
  • A Pastor’s wife in the Church who encouraged her daughters to have boyfriends and attend night parties.
  • A Pastor’s wife who slept with the associate Pastor.
  • A Pastor’s wife who accused her husband of praying too much.
  • A Pastor’s wife who became a witch to disrupt the work of the ministry.
  • A Pastor’s wife who falsely accused her husband of infidelity before the whole church.
  • A Pastor’s wife who refused to follow her husband on transfer because she was “tired of moving around”.
  • A Pastor’s wife who is fond of fighting her husband on Saturday nights or Sunday morning just to disrupt the Sunday Service. If your wife is a ‘caterpillar’ fighting her is not what you need to do. You need to apply wisdom.


  • Check yourself: This is the most difficult things to do for many of us. If you are a ‘ministry husband’, your wife is likely going to become a ‘caterpillar wife’. Check yourself and change.
  • Be Sincere: When checking yourself, please be sincere. Check all her complaints. Don’t explain them away. Apologise where necessary. To be frank with you, many of these women become what they are because of their husbands’ attitudes.
  • Go for Counsel: I will advise you get in touch with us for free counseling. We will be glad to talk to you. Bring your wife along and humble yourself to seek counsel.
  • Attend Our Ministers’ Marriage Conference: Attend Minister Marriage Conference together where she will learn new things about marriage and ministry.Log on to familybooster.com or bisiadewale.com to know more about our International Ministers’ Marriage Conference.
  • Read Marriage Books and Magazines: Develop yourself. Develop her too. Let her grow because ignorance is a serious’ problem.
  • Attend Couples’ Programmes. Attend Couples programme together. Learn how to enrich your marriage Call +232-8068312004 or visit familybooster.com or bisiadewale.com to know about our Couples’ conference.
  • Love her. Show your love to her in every ways.
  • Forgive her. Do not take vengeance, forgive her let her be close to you.
  • Talk to Her. Talk to her with love, without criticism. Let her see reasons why she must change. Be more open to her. She might be fighting you because you are too secretive.

(10). Go to God. Prayer is a tool you must use to take control of your home. Pray for her, and yourself. The devil may be using your wife against you. So, pray to deliver her from him.



These are wives that will not stop their husbands from doing their work but will not give the helping hands.

To them, their husband is in his business while they are on their own. They will attend church just like any other member. They will not do anything in ministry. Majority of them never see themselves as Pastors’ wives because they were never prepared for the challenge.



These are genuine Pastors’ wives. They do not just see themselves as “Pastor’s wife” but consider themselves as Pastors even if they are not in the ministry, attend Bible College or sit on the altar. They are the PILLAR behind their husband success, they are firebrand, supportive, focus, prayerful submissive, available and dependable

What They Do

  • They stand in the gap for their husband at home. They are the managers of the home-front, training their children to obey the Lord.
  • They pray for their husbands daily
  • They are involved in the ministry as Pastors, teachers, choristers, Prayer team members, head or members of marriage committee, women leaders, among others.
  • They satisfy their husbands by cooking good food, keep the house clean, good sex, etc.
  • They are good dressers. They put on good clothes, though they may not be expensive they come out beautiful on them.
  • They welcome their husband’s visitor warmly.


  • They are friends of their husbands.
  • They love their home and take good care of it.
  • They protect, defend and support their husbands in ministry
  • Teachers and Counsellors. They are involved in teaching and counseling in the church.
  • Good Examples. They are easy to emulate in habit and character, totally unblemished.
  • They are lovers of visitors
  • Prayer warriors. They are always on their knees for their husbands and children
  • They are caring and loving mothers
  • They are very wise
  • They submit to God and their husbands.
  • If you marry a ministerial wife, never take her for granted. If you discover she is a wonderful Pastor’s wife, reciprocate her goodness by loving her and caring for her. Be proud of her and appreciate her privately and openly. Above all, continue to pray for her lest the Satan use her.

Culled from the book-Marriage & Ministry, striking a balance by Bisi Adewale



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