Layers of Happiness (Episode 4)
The Sunday became a chuckle, something I quietly remembered with suppressed anger and laughter. Or perhaps, I was running mad without knowing. The picture of that Sunday stood before me like a mountain.
On my bed, the nightmares of the incident divided my sleep into several bits. Pastor Jide Andrews, the senior pastor of my church, called me into his office after the chaos that left the congregation in disarray.
“What happened to your marriage?” He asked. His voice was soft but confident. His voice had the tone of a lovely father who still loves despite the mistakes of the children.
“I…don’t…know what to say…I don’t…know…how it…happened” I stammered through the words. My eyes were heavy with tears. I tried to afford his gentle gaze. I fixed my gaze on the picture of Jesus on the wall placed behind his seat.
And I sobbed quietly. I tasted the salty taste of the tears on my tongue. Yet, I looked at the picture on the wall.
“Why didn’t you tell me about this problem before now?” he continued.
“Are you truly infertile?”
“Is your wife’s allegation true?”
I didn’t have answers to these questions. I only stared at the portrait of Jesus carrying a lamb on his shoulder at the back of the pastor’s seat. The questions opened like a thousand sun in my heart, breaking my heart into layers I couldn’t decipher, breaking it with suicidal wishes. But I couldn’t find a word to describe my state.
“I relieve you of your position as the junior pastor for you need time to settle this present situation with God in prayer.” Pastor Jide began.
“I strongly believe that the devil is out to destroy your ministry and you have got to fight him really hard”
“You can’t afford to lose your marriage for whatever reason” he concluded.
At his words, I only nodded. And I stepped out of his office.
At the church gate that led to the main road, I heard the loud murmuring of a gathering of our church members and other people living on the street. As they saw me coming out of the church, their loud murmuring became silent whispers.
Anyway, I turned to the other corner of the long street and walked home briskly, carrying this new layer of happiness with me.
…to be Continued.