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Look At What Research Says About Couples Who Fight

by Family Center
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Look At What Research Says About Couples Who Fight
Everyone dreams of finding the love of a lifetime and being happy forever, without fights and without everyday problems.

Is this even being happy forever or being bored forever? Specialists ensure that learning to discuss with a partner is very good for a long-term relationship. Living without quarrels is not the recipe for happiness

Researchers at the University of California and the Gottman Institute, United States, after a study involving 79 couples, concluded that discussing the relationship is beneficial for the couple.

Scholars followed the 79 couples for 14 years in an attempt to detect their behavioral patterns. They have found that it is not enough to just discuss: staying calm and facing problems make the relationship more consistent over the years.

Discussing the relationship is beneficial for the couple
According to the study, couples who discussed immediately after the conflict, stayed together longer. Even the study noted that the possible success of couples would be the ability to discuss, argue and resolve the issues together. But there are ways and ways to fight.

According to one of the authors of the study, psychologist Robert Levenson, one of the different traits among the couples who were together during that time period was that when they came to discuss, for whatever reason, they communicated openly and discussed issue as soon as it arose. Already those who expected and held grudges and irritations were more likely to part at some point.

Another characteristic of well-adjusted couples is that they both tend to take responsibility for their actions and listen to what the other has to say and respect their opinion.

The noxious side of fights
Still, according to the study, couples who split up were in the habit of interrupting the discussion to a pointless or insensitive comment. They also tended to disregard their spouse’s opinion or to say they were wrong or illogical rather than taking the issue seriously.

According to another study by the California Divorce Mediation Project, the most common causes why couples divorce are not negative affects or constant fights. Instead, the main reasons for divorce, quoted by almost 80% of all men and women, was the gradual withdrawal from each other that ends the feeling of closeness and makes the person no longer feel loved and appreciated.

Conclusion
Researchers at the University of California and the Gottman Institute have concluded that any fight in which the typical pattern of initiation is aggressiveness results in greater possibilities for divorce than those in which arguments are based on respect for the difference and individuality of the pair and that what defines the greater or lesser time for divorce is related to the nature of the configuration of fights between the two groups, that is, for those who divorced later, the pattern is the fight where the intention is to resolve the conflict.

Already those who divorced early showed a pattern of conflict based on the criticism, defensive attitude, contempt and silence treatment displayed during the conflict resolution attempt by the discussion.

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