Marital Conflict: 4 Ways To Resolve Once and For All
Couples will always have their differences and problems. They can be small and end up becoming something that really messes up and prevents good coexistence. When unresolved, they bring pain, hurt, separation, and divorce. The best way to resolve is to stop to analyze and take actions that will change the situation and give you a chance to continue.
People are far from perfect. And as much as the couple has the same interests, there will always be something that bothers you, which can only be discovered over time or that has increased in intensity over the course of days. Maturity may not be at the ideal level, but the couple may seek a resolution to avoid further suffering and pain.
It is much easier to see mistakes in the partner than one’s own. In fact, people consider themselves very good and easy to relate to, but the spouse is not that simple. Creating a list of companion defects may seem like a good thing to start the debate than it has to improve, but according to experts, it will only make things worse. Other situations that should be avoided include:
1. Bomb partner with his faults
Even though in a calm and friendly conversation this pattern of conduct is not effective, after all when the person labels the other seems to emphasize what it should be. Instead of addressing the flaws of excessive jealousy, laziness, and procrastination, keeping an eye on qualities, what the spouse does best is the ideal.
Accentuating the defects will not make them disappear, on the contrary, the person may feel useless and frustrated because he recognizes his mistakes and can not change. Sincere concern for the spouse is still the best remedy for self-improvement, for when he is motivated and recognized, his desire to improve is further promoted.
2. Punishment of silence
No one can feel the love with coldness, contempt, and disinterest. If one does not feel loved, one does not have the strength or desire to change for the better, for no matter how hard he tries, he is never recognized. The spacing does not have to be physical, with each in a different city, under the same roof both can be complete strangers.
This does not happen overnight, but gradually the person becomes so irritated by his partner’s faults that he is quieting, closing, and when he realizes there is an insurmountable wall between them. There is no more dialogue or genuine interest in the other. Love died.
3. Think first about yourself
This is another very conflicting mistake, because the spouse expects the other to donate, after all, he believes that what he does for the marriage is more than enough, that the balance of work for each other is unbalanced.
In fact, keeping the marriage cannot be 50% for each, it needs to have 100% of the efforts coming from the two. When the partner is more important and love inflates the chest, the desire to give it all happens will help both grow together and keep the initial love even stronger. There is no room for selfishness within marriage as this leads to lust, excessive spending, betrayals and vices that will destroy the relationship.
4. Avoid contact
When one gets upset and cannot overcome on his own, the ideal is to converse with a receptive stance so that the conversation is not a sermon. Debating about the relationship is a part of being calm and with a sincere desire to make progress.
Shrinking into a corner so that the other person realizes that he or she is upset is not advisable because the partner may feel guilty and embarrassed and will not want to talk about what has happened so as not to listen to a scolding, while the one who was hurt and said nothing will think of contempt unbearable from the partner. And the cycle will not solve anything at all.
The couple over time will find the balance, getting to know each other, seeking professional or religious help when needed and keeping their hearts open so that they can really dedicate themselves 100% to their love.
No matter if they have been together for some months or decades, changes are always welcome, after all the human being is an animal that always seeks to progress, and the satisfaction is much greater when he realizes that he is on the right path. To two, and with much love, the walk is much brighter.
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