Whether you are a teacher in a government secondary school, a nurse in a private hospital, a trader in the market, or a corporate staff doing Zoom calls from your one-bedroom, toxic colleagues are part of the work reality. They gossip, backbite, sabotage small wins, and leave you emotionally drained before you even reach home.

The worst part is that that drain does not stay at the office gate. It follows you home, shortens your temper with your children, kills date nights with your spouse, and slowly chips away at the family peace you are working so hard to build.

13 Pornography Triggers Your Teenage Boys Must Avoid

Good news: you do not have to fight them. You do not have to become like them. You can protect your energy and your family by avoiding the trap smartly. Here are 7 practical ways that actually work in our offices — no fancy HR policies required.

1. Spot the red flags in the first two weeks

That colleague who always wants to “gist” about everybody on your first day? The one who complains about management but never has a solution? Those are not friendly overtures — they are entry points.

Many of us ignore the signs because we want to be “nice” or “team players.” But by week three, you are already carrying their emotional load.

Practical move: Keep early conversations light and work-focused. If someone starts bad-mouthing others within the first month, politely change the topic or say, “Let’s focus on our targets today.” Your future self (and your family) will thank you.

2. Set invisible but firm boundaries around your personal life

Toxic colleagues love to dig for ammunition. “How is your husband? I heard he travels a lot…” or “Your children go to private school? How do you manage the fees?” They are not asking because they care. They are fishing.

Practical move: Share only surface-level details. “We are managing, by God’s grace” is a complete answer. Never discuss salary, marital issues, or school fees. Keep your family photos on your phone, not as your desktop wallpaper for everyone to analyse.

3. Stop eating lunch or “hanging” with the drama crew

In many offices, the canteen or that small buka down the road is where alliances are formed and destroyed. One innocent “join us” and suddenly you are in WhatsApp group drama every weekend.

Practical move: Create your own routine. Eat at your desk with AirPods in, or take a short walk outside. Tell them honestly but kindly, “I need this time to recharge so I can be sharp for afternoon work.” No long explanation needed. Your peace is not negotiable.

4. Never be the messenger or the complaint box

Toxic people love to use you to carry their grievances to the boss or other colleagues. “Abeg, tell Oga what she did…” Once you agree once, you become their pawn — and the target when things backfire.

Practical move: The moment they start, say calmly, “I think it’s better you speak to her or Oga directly. I don’t want to be in the middle.” Repeat as needed. It feels awkward the first time, but it saves your job and your home stress later.

5. Document your own work like your marriage depends on it

Because sometimes it does. A toxic colleague can twist one small mistake into “she is incompetent” and suddenly your promotion or even your salary is at risk.

Practical move: Keep a simple daily note on your phone or notebook — tasks done, emails sent, deadlines met. CC yourself on important emails. When the story changes in a meeting, you have facts, not emotions. This habit has saved many parents from bringing unnecessary tension home.

6. Build quiet alliances with solid people instead

Not every colleague is toxic. There is always that quiet aunty in HR, the serious guy in Operations, or the fellow parent who just wants to finish and go home.

Practical move: Invest your limited energy in these ones. Share useful work tips, pray together during break if you are both believers, or simply greet warmly every morning. These small positive connections remind you that not everybody is out to get you — and they become your soft landing when the toxic one strikes.

7. Know when the only real avoidance is distance or exit

Sometimes the toxicity is coming from above (your direct boss) or the entire department culture is poisoned. Staying and “praying it away” while your blood pressure rises every Monday is not wisdom.

Practical move: Start updating your CV quietly. Apply for that internal transfer or the new role you saw on LinkedIn. Talk to your spouse first—not the toxic colleague. Many parents have told me the best family decision they made was leaving that one job that was killing their home joy. Your children need a parent who is present, not a shell.

Making it work without becoming cold or paranoid

You do not have to walk into the office like a spy. Smile. Greet people. Do your work excellently. That toxic colleague does not pay your children’s school fees or rub your back when you are tired. Protecting your peace at work is actually love for your home.

You are not being dramatic. You are being responsible. The parent who comes home lighter, who can laugh with her children over indomie and cartoons, who still has energy to ask her husband “How was your day?” — that is the real win. And it starts with refusing to let one difficult person rent space in your head after 5pm.