Fighting is not the most pleasant part of a relationship, but it is at times unavoidable.
It is a popular belief that couples who argue are actually more in love than couples that never enter into an argument. In reality, fighting can be a positive thing if it is done right and resolution is reached by striking an acceptable compromise.
So What Are The Effects Of These Fights On Children? Raised voices, bad language, screaming back and forth between parents has an adverse effect on the emotional and mental health of the children. If done often enough, it can be considered child abuse.
As a parent, you must understand the consequences of fighting, especially in front of your children.
Although fights are part of a marriage, how then can you manage this so that the kids are not scarred for life?
Many parent fail to understand that their children are not too young to grasp what is going on in their vicinity, they argue and fight even in front of that little lad.
If your babies are yet to speak, you may think they have no idea what you are yelling about when you are screaming at your husband or wife, but think again.
Babies may cry more, have tummy upset, or experience trouble settling down.
For older children, parental fighting can have the following consequences
A feeling of insecurity
Your children’s home should be a safe place, a place of love and peace. When this is disrupted by arguments noise or battlefield, the child feels the shift and feels like they have no secure anchor point.
If fights happen often, the child grows up to be an insecure, fearful adult.
Guilt and shame
Children will feel like they are the reason for the conflict.
This can lead to low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness.
Stress about who to align with
Children who witness parental fighting will naturally feel as if they need to align with one side or the other. They cannot watch a fight and see that both sides seem to be presenting a balanced point of view.
Many male children will gravitate towards protecting their mother, sensing that the father may have power over her and the child will need to protect her from that.
A bad role model
Dirty fighting presents the children with a bad role model.
Children live what they learn and will grow up to be bad fighters themselves after living in a household where this was what they saw.
Children want to see their parents as adult, all-knowing, calm human beings, not hysterical, out-of-control people. That seems to confuse the child who needs the adults to act like adults.
Effect on academics and health
Because the child’s home life is filled with instability and verbal or emotional violence (or worse), the child reserves a part of their brain to concentrate on trying to maintain some balance and peace at home.
He may become the peacemaker between the parents. This is not his role and takes away from what he should be concentrating on in school and for his own well-being. The consequence is a student who is distracted, unable to concentrate, perhaps with learning challenges. Healthwise, children whose homes are fight-filled are more frequently ill, since more attention is directed toward claiming rights, argument and of course, malice, less attention is being given to the child
Mental and behavioral issues
children do not have mature coping strategies and cannot “just ignore” the fact that their parents are fighting.
