In the first part, I tried to establish some serious effects of parental fight on children, in case you did not read that, kindly read It Here.
Now let’s explore some better ways for parents to express disagreement. Here are some techniques that will show good models to their children on how to manage conflict productively
Try to have the argument when the children are not present
This could be when they are at daycare or school or spending the weekend at grandparents. If this isn’t possible, wait until the children are asleep to get into the disagreement.
If your child witnesses your fighting, they should see you makeup
This shows them that it is possible to resolve and begin again and that you do love each other, even if you fight.
Most of all, learn to fight productively
If the children are witnesses to your parental disputes, let them see how to solve problem.
Model “good fighting” techniques
Empathy
Listen to your spouse’s point, and acknowledge that you understand where they are coming from.
Assume best intentions
Assume that your partner has your best interests at heart, and is using this argument to improve the situation.
You are both on the same team
When fighting, keep in mind that you and your spouse are not adversaries.
You both want to work towards a resolution. You are on the same side. Let your children see this, so they do not feel like they have to pick a side. You state the problem and invite your spouse to weigh in with their ideas for solving the problem.
Avoid bringing up old grudges
Avoid criticism. Speak from a place of kindness. Keep compromise as a goal. Remember, you are modeling behavior that you want your children to imitate.
