by O. S David


Pastor Bisi Adewale.

I salute all men of God around the world who are holding the pillar of righteousness by bringing people closer to God, depopulating hell fire for the Almighty God.

There is one truth I want all ministers of God to know and always remember- FAMILY IS THE FOUNDATION OF MINISTRY. According to the Bible, If you fail at home you’ve failed indeed.

In fact, if you fail at home, you are not qualified to be a Pastor, no matter how many degrees you have in Theology.

 “A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach” (1 Timothy 3:2 KJV)

Among many qualities of Ministers of God, Apostle Paul said a Pastor (Bishop, reverend and any Christian Leader) must have a good home Number two quality-“must be blameless”. If you add this to the number one quality; which means a Pastor must be credible, without scandal. How can a man be credible if he is not credible at home? So, number one is even embedded in number two.

Many anointed men of God are falling daily into errors, many are falling by the way side making the devil to rejoice, a whole lots are fighting battles at home because they are not taking the issue of marriage the way God wants us to take it, we’ve forgotten that our families are our first Church.

Jesus commanded us to start our ministry at Judea not at the utmost part of the world like many anointed men of God are doing today, we seem to know more than Jesus the owner of the Church himself.

Hello sirs, please note this, you can’t use anointing alone to build your marriage, you can’t use ability to preach to keep your home, the major need is WISDOM .No wonder, the Bible says:

“Through wisdom (not anointing)is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches” (Proverbs 24:3-4 KJV)

You can only build your home by wisdom, not by speaking in tongues or by casting out the Devil. I have seen many anointed men of God in great mess at home. I have seen deliverance ministers who are also wife beaters at home. I have seen Pastors who are rascal, terrorizing their wives.

I met a Bishop recently who has been keeping malice with his wife for the last 15 months before we met and they were still sitting on the altar together but they have not said ordinary good morning to each other for that long, it was really terrible, I pity the flock of God under them.

I met a Pastor who did not sleep with his wife for more than nine months because he was looking for the power of the God. We spoke to him and he did not listen, he said the wife is carnal for asking for sex, we showed him what the bible says about sex in marriage in 1 Corinthians 7:1-5, he said that is for baby Christians not for spiritual giants like him. Few months later, the wife fell into sin, the Pastor’s Mechanic impregnated her and the Church scattered in the process.

Another Pastor travelled out of his country for almost a year ministering around the world, whether he was doing the work of God or the work of money, we can’t really say. Before he return, the associate Pastor has impregnated his wife -the Mummy of the Church. He rushed back home to meet an empty Church.

A popular Televangelist beat his wife black and blue and tied the woman with rope, claiming she is mad, we had to call Police to rescue the woman from him.

Some pastors were on a particular mountain recently to pray for God to kill their wives because according to them, their wives were witches, they said their wives did not allow their ministry to move forward, they did not allow their Church to grow. Is this not laughable? We told them God is not a murderer, those women will not die.

So many pastors are accusing their wives as witches, what an irony of life! YOU MARRIED A QUEEN AND TURNED HER TO A WITCH. We should ask you some questions. If she is a witch and you are a Pastor, please cast out her demons.

That you are anointed does not mean your marriage will work automatically, you need wisdom Sir.

Yes, you need wisdom in the following areas:

— Ministry/Life balance

— Understanding women

— Balancing ministry and family life.

— Understanding marriage

— How to be pastor in Church and Lover boy at home

— Wisdom to balance Sex and romance with Prayer and fasting

— Wisdom for Godly Parenting.

— Communication in marriage

— Conflict management in marriage.

— Commitment and contentment in marriage.

— God’s Blue print for an excellent marriage.

— Exposing hidden destroyers of marriage etc.

I was in a Pastors wives’ conference recently as a guest minister, they were given opportunity to speak their minds, it was not interesting at all, many of these women are really hurting. They said:

— Pastors love ministry more than their families

— Pastors hate to be counseled about marriage and families

— They love talking to rich Deaconess or rich church members than their wives.

— They embarrass their wives openly on the altar as they preach.

— They live double lives-saint in church something else at home.

— They are not good fathers, they are better as spiritual fathers than biological ones.

— Many are too harsh and difficult at home

— Many are too stingy, they preach giving in Church but they are not givers at home.

— They are very proud and Cocky.

— Some preach about tithes but are not paying Tithes. Some even steal tithes and seeds sown by members for the work of God.

— Many don’t listen to their wives’ advise, but confide in Church members.

— They don’t have respect for their wives.

— Many knows close to nothing about fatherhood and Godly Parenting.

— Many of them want sex but knows nothing about love and intimacy.

— Many allow their extended family members or rich Church members to take charge of their homes.

— They are busy round the clock,24/7,their phones can never be switched off, they are people’s pastors but failure at home.

Most Pastor’s wives are lonely, hurting and angry. The world expect too much from them and at times ,they have to abandon their profession and source of income to follow their husbands around as they are being transferred from city to city without any recognition or payment from the church or respect from people.

Of course, I am not saying all Pastors’ wives are saints, they have issues too which I will be addressing later in my write ups, but my focus today is on Pastors who are losing at home.


 “Only Luke is with me. Take Mark, and bring him with thee: for he is profitable to me for the ministry. (2 Timothy 4:11 KJV)

Paul had Luke with him, but he still Wanted Mark because he is profitable for the ministry. In the context of this discussion, Lukes are your Church members, Deacons, Deaconess etc, but you need Mark (your wife) if you must make Mark in ministry. All LUKES are just to LOOK, they will go away, where is your MARK (your wife) ? The Lord brought you together to make mark in life and ministry. So, bring her along with you.

Do you know that Apostle Peter did not joke about his wife and family,he even called Jesus to heal his mother- in- law.

 “And when Jesus was come into Peter’s house, he saw his wife’s mother laid, and sick of a fever. And he touched her hand, and the fever left her: and she arose, and ministered unto them.” (Matthew 8:14-15 KJV).

He, with other Apostles even took their wives with them when they travelled at times.

“We have the right to bring a believing wife with us when we travel, don’t we? The other apostles and the Lord’s brothers and Peter all demonstrated this example”. (1 Corinthians 9:5 ERV)

Stop giving room for the devil, close the door against all temptations and scandals, embrace your wife and work together in unity for better result in ministry. Remember, two are better than one.

To be a better husbands Kindly get my books:





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