Study reveals that the secret of a successful relationship is not sex, it’s this other ingredient
According to a psychologist, privacy in a relationship is much more important to the couple’s happiness than a good sex life.How come you may wish to ask? It has always been known that couples who love each other cannot be separated from one another and do everything together, isn’t it?
But, according to a study done in the United States titled “The Early Years of Marriage Project,” this only applies to the beginning of the relationship. After some time couples should no longer live as Siamese twins.
The project in which Terri is involved has followed 373 couples since 1990.
Of these couples, 46% are already divorced and 29% said the reason for the separation was that they did not have “privacy or time for themselves” during the relationship. And of the couples who said they were unhappy, 11.5% said it was for lack of space, while only 6% were due to sex life.
Why do we need space?
The reason space is so important to a relationship is that, according to the psychologist, couples who maintain their own friends and interests feel happier and less bored. Taking time for yourself or spending some time alone gives you the ability to process your own thoughts, cultivate your hobbies and relax, without having to worry about another person.
For psychologist John, the idea that spending time with your partner is a sign of love is wrong and can be detrimental to the relationship. For John, “spending time apart is very healthy and maintains the freshness of the relationship. It also serves as an incentive to maintain personal individuality, even as a couple, as well as independence and resilience.”
According to the study, it is the lack of this personal space that causes the couple to get tired of being with the same person. Of course, all this also depends on the personality of each one, as people differ in their need for space. Some need more and some less. However, everyone needs it and is a way to renew their relationship and avoid boredom.
For those who desperately need more space in their relationship here are the recommendations:
1. Do not feel guilty about wanting to have your space. If you want it is because you need it. So, enjoy your time.
2. You can learn something new: all the new things you learn will add something new to your life and your relationship.
3. Talk sensibly with your partner. Do not say “I need space,” or your partner will think that you are not happy next to him or that he is suffocating you. Say something like, “I want to take a cooking course,” for example, so you direct your need for space to you and not the other.
4. Keep no secret about what happened to you in the period when the beloved was not present. Divide with your partner everything you have done, this creates confidence – the key to a healthy relationship.
Just as we dedicate ourselves to the people we love, we must dedicate time to ourselves. It helps us to rest, relax, revise our plans and goals, refresh our minds and pursue our interests-including having more time for our fellows.
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