The Effect Of EXCESSIVE PASSION for children To Marriage
Certainly you, mother, should already be aware of the common preferences of the children in relation to the parents depending on the sex: girls are (in general) more related to the parents, and boys (in general) more connected to the mother.
This fact, according to psychological theories accepted worldwide, are called Eletra complex (girls) and Oedipus complex (boys).
However, we will learn a little about another complex, one that is less known to parents and society, but which exists, and today its number is growing every day more.
It is the complex of Jocasta, that is, circumstances or connected acts between the mother’s relationship with the children, where the mother’s attitudes can be harmful to the children, and especially to their marriage.
It occurs when we mothers become so attached to our children that we can unwittingly take harmful actions to their future. We end up overprotecting our babies too much (no matter how old they are) or even avoiding, or preventing children from becoming responsible and mature people, taking control of their lives.
Psychologist Ana Luisa Testa teaches that “the problem occurs when parents do not see (denial) that children need to take on other roles in life to be happy . ”
There are cases where the mother does not accept any of her son’s girlfriends, or superprotege doing everything for her children, preventing them from growing.
The consequences, as Ana Luisa points out, are narcissistic people, with no limits in manipulating others for their well-being, because they always want to be treated as a special being! And their love relationships are never enough, because they are always compared to the one of the mother that is much more seductive.
Continuing with the tragic events that this type of attitude can trigger in our families, the children do not marry and stay there glued to the hem of the skirt, there is no husband who can withstand such overprotection!
Children, as the wise old saying goes, must and must be created for the world. There they will live and need to be, no longer under our protection and look.
Our marriage should come first, before our children, after all our children were only born because one day we got married!
It is irresistible, almost impossible, and may even sound like something inhuman, to think about putting our spouse in front of our children, but that is what we need to do to keep our marriage healthy and long-lasting.
When we stop to think about the consequences that can happen to our own children, in the case of a divorce, we will be aware that the best we can do to protect, love, and secure a secure future for our children is to shield our marriage.
The responsibilities of a new life in our arms make us so joyful that for a moment we can (without noticing many times) be more passionate about our children than our spouse, then the consequences are already foreseen.
Family life consists of a necessary and essential balance, all having their space and time, without giving total priority to the children, without leaving with the spouse alone from time to time, without centralizing all the attention only for the children.
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