TRANSPARENCY IN MARRIAGE
-By Bisi Adewale
Transparency in marriage is the state of been open, truthful, candid and frank with one’s spouse. This is what the Bible describe in Genesis 2:25 “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed”. Marriage is known to be extremely difficult where husband and wife are not transparent to each other. It gives room for all manners of crisis and conflict in the family which have consumed so many marriages.
If your home must be joyful, peaceful and blissful; you and your partner must be open to each other, not given room for doubt, distrust and suspicion.
You must live a life of total openness without, “dark rooms”, “skeleton” in your cupboard, nothing to add everything is on the table.
Dangers of lack of transparency
Absence of transparency in marriage has many dangers and grave implications on family life. In fact, it is one of the reasons marriage are crashing worldwide.
Let’s check some of the implications of failure to be transparent in marriage.
- Suspicion: Lack of transparency is the foundation of suspicion. It gives room for wrong imaginations, negative thinking and jumping into conclusions which most of the time may not be the truth. Suspicion is known to lead to wrong accusation that can be really annoying leading to anger and every other negativity.
- Distrust: When suspicion grows, it becomes distrust which is killer of love and destroyer of marriage. Good marriage is base on trust, so, when trust is broken marriage is almost over.
- Fear: Suspicion and distrust generates fear and anxiety, because of lack of information, misinformation and uncertainty that surround the home and family life in a place where transparency is lacking.
- Wrong Accusation: distrust, fear and suspicion which are all off- shot of lack of transparency are know to lead to wrong accusation and counter -accusation which is very dangerous to the well being of the family life.
- Conflict and Crisis: Lack of transparency is known to cause a lots of crisis,as the couple begin to fight each other even when their is no cogent reason for it.
- Rumor: One thing that is common in a home without transparency is the influence of third party in marriage. It brings rumour, misinformation, gossips and lies which fuels conflict in marriage.
- Lovelessness: There is no way love can thrive in a marriage where transparency is lacking, all that is common in this kind of homes are malice, anger, resentment, hatred and bitterness.
- Sick Marriage: The end result of absence of transparency in marriage is bad and difficult marriage. What do you expect in a home full of distrust,fear,Lovelessness if not difficult and terrible marriage.
TYPES OF TRANSPARENCY IN MARRIAGE
1. Zero transparency.
This is where there is no transparency at all in the home; rather, the marriage is full of “dark rooms”, secrecy, lies, pretence, deceits and cover-ups.
Zero transparency is known to produce very difficult marriages and tense homes, it is always marriage at it worst level.
2. Partial Transparency:
This is when couples are transparent to each other in some areas but not in every area. Some couples are transparent in the area of sex but have zero transparency in the area of finance. Couple will always fight; have conflict, distrust and misunderstanding in the area where they have things to hide from their spouses.
3. One sided Transparency:
Transparency is described as one sided in marriage if it is only one of the couple that is transparent while the other partner is not.
Marriage in this kind of mode will also be difficult on the long run except if the defaulting partner changes.