A Nigerian pastor, Kingsley Okonkwo, has ignited widespread conversation online after sharing his views on how income differences between spouses can affect marriages during a sermon titled 5 Pillars That Keep Your Marriage From Crashing.
Speaking to married and engaged couples, the pastor warned against letting financial success become a source of tension at home, cautioning that adopting certain cultural norms could work against what he described as a "kingdom" approach to marriage.
"When women earn more, the marriage is in d@nger. Don't confuse the fact that you live in America to mean you must have an American marriage. You are a kingdom citizen," he said.
Okonkwo argued that many women have not been properly taught what it means to be a wife, suggesting that marriages where wives out-earn their husbands often face greater strain.
"Most women are wired to believe that they are receivers. The moment she starts to earn more and feels ‘this guy can't do anything major for me’, resentment begins to build," he said.
He maintained that financial contribution should not be the basis for respect or leadership within a marriage.
"As a lady, you must understand that in the kingdom, your number one role is as a helper," he said.
The pastor also revealed that men frequently confide in him about their reluctance to marry women who earn more than they do, fearing it could undermine respect in the relationship.
"Men tell me all the time, 'We can never marry women that earn more than us. She'll be rude, you can't advise her, she'll have an attitude,'" he said.
Turning to women supporting husbands through financial hardship, Okonkwo urged them to do so without bitterness.
"If you ever, for any reason, marry a man that needs help, you can't help with an attitude. You can't help and feel like you are suffering. That is what you are created to do," he said.
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