Famous Marriage clinician and author, Pastor Bisi Adewale, has been at the center of online discussions this week following the circulation of a sermon clip in which he spoke about a husband's primary responsibility in marriage.
However, a review of the full message reveals that his emphasis was not on diminishing the importance of love and provision, but on highlighting spiritual leadership as the foundation upon which those responsibilities should be built.
The clip, which has been widely shared across social media platforms, sparked discussions after some blog reports suggested that the pastor was downplaying the importance of love and financial provision in marriage. However, a review of the full message delivered during the Day 1 Family Life Service at RCCG Resurrection Parish, Lekki, indicates that his emphasis was on spiritual leadership as the foundation for effective love and responsible provision.
What Pastor Bisi Adewale Said
While addressing the congregation, Pastor Adewale stated that a married man's foremost responsibility is to serve as the priest of his family by maintaining a strong relationship with God and providing spiritual leadership for his household.
“The first duty of a man in marriage is not to provide. The first duty of a man in marriage is not to love his wife. The first duty of a man in marriage is to be a priest of the family,” he said.
According to him, the statement was not intended to diminish the importance of loving one's wife or providing for the family. Rather, he explained that a man's relationship with God should form the foundation upon which genuine love, care, and provision are built.
Pastor Adewale further argued that love disconnected from a relationship with God could become self-centered and unhealthy.
“It is not about loving your wife. If you love your wife without loving God, very soon, you will be wicked to that woman because you won’t even know how to love her. Your love will be selfish love, demanding love,” he stated.
He emphasized that spiritual maturity enables a man to love sacrificially and lead his family according to biblical principles.
Referencing Matthew 6:33, Pastor Adewale added: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and every other thing shall be added,” explaining that marriage and family responsibilities are among the areas that benefit when God is given first place in a person's life.
Context of the Message
Observers who listened to the entire sermon note that Pastor Adewale's message focused on the order of priorities in marriage rather than a rejection of a husband's responsibilities to love and provide for his family.
His central argument was that spiritual leadership should come first because it equips a man to fulfill every other marital responsibility more effectively.
The clarification comes amid ongoing discussions online, with supporters and critics offering differing interpretations of the now-viral sermon clip.
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