Negative Effects Of Living In The Family House After Marriage

Bisi Oludare

Getting married is a beautiful thing but when the important things that are meant to be in place before marriage are not on the ground, then it could be seen as doing the right thing at the wrong time.

The issue of people (guys) getting married without an accommodation used to be rampant until people started advising men on the disadvantage of doing that but recently this thing has started raising its ugly head again probably due to the economic recession in the Country.

That there is a financial problem doesn’t make this good because there are lots of dangers inherent in it. There is nothing as good as having a roof over your head before getting married.

It doesn’t have to be big, a bedroom apartment isn’t a bad idea if you cannot afford the luxury of having anything more but just make sure you have your own house and not that you will bring your wife to your parent’s house after marriage to be living.

Here are the negative effects of living in the family house after marriage.

1.       It is not a good way to start a married life

As a couple, you need time to adjust and adapt to the new person you have become which is now a husband to somebody and you need to get to know yourself without interference from any external force. Living in the family house will not allow you to do this.

2.       Your wife will not be free

There is no way you will bring your wife to your family house after marriage and she will be free to move around. Since you both are now squatters in that house, you do everything as the squatter that you are

3.       Your wife automatically becomes everybody’s slave

An elderly woman once shared with me her ordeal as she actually advised me that no matter what no lady should embrace living in the family house as an alternative to marriage. In her word, she said,

 “I was a glorified housemaid who didn’t really have a say though my husband was supportive.” She also talked about how even the husband’s siblings became stylishly rude to their brother. They will want your want to do almost everything in the house because like the Yoruba will say she is the “Iyawo kekere”(the young wife).

4.       You tend to spend more

Living in the family house makes you spend more. You will have to provide money for the family’s upkeep at least they have given you a free house to live.

5.       You will be ashamed to allow your friends visit you

There is no way you will be proud to have your friends come around. You will not be free to tell them where you live. It becomes your top secret

6.       It affects your finances

It indirectly affects your savings and family budget because you will have many things to attend to. Things that ordinarily they wouldn’t have gotten you involved if you are not with them becomes what you do joyfully

7.       You cannot boast of it anywhere and so getting a house becomes your top priority even when there are other things to do. In marriage, your financial obligations will rise but you will be more concerned about getting a house than attending to other things.

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