A relationship is not an always sweet forum, it involves human with different personalities, hurting each other is inevitable, but the highest goal of every relationship is to keep going.
The basic requirement for forgiveness is the willingness to forgive. Sometimes when the hurt is too deep, or your partner has been highly abusive or has not expressed any remorse, you may not find yourself willing to forget. Do not try to take serious actions relating to your partner before you have fully felt, expressed, identified, and released your pain and anger.
If you are willing to forgive your partner find a place where you can be alone with your thoughts and then follow these four steps:
1. Acknowledge the situation
Think about the incident objectively. Accept the reality of it and how it made you feel and react.
2. Learn from such incidents
Learn to grow from such incidents. What did this incident help you learn about yourself, your boundaries, and your needs?
3. See things from your partner’s perspective
Put yourself in the place of your partner to ascertain why he acted in the way that he or she did? Everybody is flawed, and it is highly probable that your partner acted from a skewed frame of reference and limited beliefs. Think about the reasons that made him act in such a hurtful way.
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4. Say it out loud
Lastly, you have to decide if you want to tell your partner if you have forgiven him. If you do not want to express forgiveness directly, then do it by yourself. Say the words out loud so that you can feel free.
In conclusion, forgiveness is the final seal on the incident that hurt you. Although you will not forget it, you will not be bound by it. By working through your feelings and learning about your boundaries you are better prepared to take care of yourself. Relationships are not easy. But forgiveness can heal the deepest wounds and transform the most strained relationships.
