Wisdom Series (Stop The Downward Spiral Of Situations In Your Marriage)
– Yomi Adewale
God’s desire is to see the upward growth in your marriage. What is written in Proverbs 4:18 is assuring and should be your anticipation in marriage, though what is seen today in many homes is contrary.
The way of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn which shines ever brighter until the full light of day.
(NLT)
But the path of the just [is] as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day. (KJV)
Relationships often start out with the best foot out from individuals involved in it. At the inception, You see a high level of friendship, good communication style, inconvenient moves, undoubted trust, romantic dispositions, love in large doses, in action, reaction, speech, etc. many fantasies here and there.
As the journey continues, issues set in from all angles. Couples begin to see things that were previously not a source of concern as big and serious issues. At a point, their friendship would suddenly stop with the extension of closeness to another party outside the union. Some selfish interests take over the steering of some homes, thus, driving it into turbulent situations. Unforgiving attitudes take over in some instances; pains and regret become the order of the day for some couples. The feeling of unfulfillment and unmet expectations come upon some husbands and wives. Prayer time becomes dwindling; Wisdom Series (Stop The Downward Spiral Of Situations In Your Marriage)spirituality goes down, some husbands take succour in their jobs, hobbies like football matches and friends while in turn, some wives take solace in their children, movies, soap operas, extended family, friends, etc. Where will all of these end? It would end only in the place of decline and drifting. If the situation is not arrested immediately, the devil will take advantage of issues they refuse to RESOLVE to dissolve the marriage.
Here below with the help of God are the steps couples can take to stop the downward spiral of situations in their marriage:
(1) Take Responsibility
No blame game or shift now; but the individual should remember where he or she has fallen short and rise up to amend his or her ways without further delay. If you think your partner is guilty, you cannot be innocent 100%. (Revelation 2:5)
(2) Take stock of areas of defect/decline
There is an urgent need to identify areas where there is a decline. It could be in the bedroom, communication, finances, trust already broken, third party interference, cropping up of certain negative attitude, keeping secret, etc. If couples could stop living in denial and face reality by being truthful to themselves, God will help them. (Matthew 13:25)
(3) Talk to God
The marriage institution is a divine idea beyond any culture and custom. Where there are issues, God the author of marriage must never be relegated if a solution is desired. Couples should call on God for mercy to revitalise and rejuvenate the home. Where love is eroded, God can supply new love. Where joy is gone, God can restore. Marriage redemption is not beyond God’s power. Seek God in worship, prayer and obedience to His words. (Jeremiah 33:3, John 2:1-1)
(4) Enlist a number of intentional activities that will focus on revitalization and rejuvenation of the marriage. Ephesians 2:10
There is no doubt many good practices must have stopped because of negative issues not well handled in the past. Some worse weapons must have been brought from an individual’s arsenal; some strangers or third parties might have opened the door to come in; some cracks would have been created; some beautiful memories might have been erased etc. Couples need to sit down to articulate good works to kick start afresh, the old good attitudes need to reviewed and renewed. Remember, great things are not done by wishes but by series of small things brought together. Start something positive today to rescue your home like:
– Resuming to your personal/couple/family devotion
– Forgiving wholeheartedly
– Engage in an Intimate Talking Time (ITT) with your spouse
– Having effective time-out with your spouse
– Restoring friendship and romance
– Seeking godly and good counsel
– Dealing with monotony and spicing up your relationship
– Giving generousity of your honeymoon days consistently
(5) Strengthen the relationship
In the cycle of a river, it goes through youth, middle age and old age. According to Geography, the river is vibrant and strong at the youth level. At the middle age, the river slows down while at old age, the river might have lost its potency and power but can be strengthened when certain deliberate actions are taking. Couples should sustain good practices and improve on them per time. Going forward, don’t wait until the matter degenerates before addressing it. Stop sweeping issues under the carpet. What you don’t say in time of peace, you will say in a negative way later when you are full to the level of explosion to create war. Expose yourself to good information and the right knowledge that will bring a better edition of you at each point. (Proverbs 9:9, 12)
I wish you success in marriage.
